i have been trying so hard to get a point where i am ok. but it just doesnt seem to be working. i cant get rid of this worthless feeling. i dont really blame any of my ex's for ending it or not wanting to be with me. i dont really feel i have anything to offer. i try to convience myself of my own worth but it all seems false and empty. kinda ( Read more... )

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so lets see some good things have actually happened this week.it looks as tho i am going back to school next semester which is really good. work still sucks but it looks like i will be having two days off in a row every week which will be saterday and sunday. things between me and bethani are still pretty rough. but next time we talk i think i have ( Read more... )

ok so i realize i am male and therefore am not supposed to be able to understand females. this being said anyone who might be able to help me understand this please try and explain this one to me. ok so she loves me but she cant be with me cause she cant handle it. she wants to be friends with me but she thinks we need to stay away from each other ( Read more... )

damn it this is why i hate over nights. i cant sleep and noone is up to hang out with. eh hopefully this new job will work out so as i can have some of my social life back. i need to see my friends more. i have neglected them for to long. and i miss you guys.

i dont know why i care so much about the things that happen in my life. in the end it doesnt.

so the other night at work slef esteem by the offspring came on. i listened to the lyrics cause i hadnt heard it in a long time. i realized that it describes a ton of my relationships. eh we all want what we cant have. and for some reason lately i always feel like my skin is crawling. mabye it's cause i'm really stressed out i dont know.

lets see brief synopsis: pinched nerve, crazy bitchs, and possibly more money all of which equals dot having even less of a social life ( Read more... )

losing 30 pounds makes my head look big. and I... am a flying penny.

my dreams have been really weird lately. filled with crack heads and cops and beatings. the other day i dreamt that i was in a forest trying to turn the volume down on a big ass tv i was watching to i could listen to a cop explain how another cop had covered up a murder where i was by taking all the gravel away in his t runk. today i dreamt that i ( Read more... )