Babies are for old people

[nuclearjesus]

Sometimes when I'm biking to school, I pass middle-aged men in business attire who are also riding towards downtown, on mountain bikes that are way too small for them. I always leap to the conclusion that these guys are unhappy alcoholics who are biking because they got DUIs and had their licenses taken away

Comments

[imalyinglyer]

aw you're jealous of my cousins. that's what the problem is. well, i hope it helps to know that even if you did grow up with your cousins around, they wouldn't be cool because your family sucks.

i don't care how old someone is, they have to know that talking about car payments is BORING. the only time you get to talk about car payments is a) while you are crying b) while you are asking someone for money or c) right before i hit you with a baseball bat.

i figured out how to not get boring while you grow up. what you do is don't get jaded or pissy because your life sucks and always believe that it will get better. that's the difference between kids and adults, i think, is that kids still think they can do anything and someday they will be rich and cool. just keep pretending forever that when you grow up you will be rich and buy a helicopter.

[nuclearjesus]

Well to be fair, I don't think I ever actually heard the adults talk about car payments. They do drink a lot of Miller Lite though.

Anyway, I think you are right. But I never wanted a helicopter - I wanted a jet-ski to ride around in my maze-house that has canals instead of hallways.

[imalyinglyer]

i wanted a pillow house with ziplines going everywhere and secrets in the walls.

[imalyinglyer]

i miss you. you are funny.