i had a dream that i put too much anti-fungal cream between my toes and had to find something else to do with it.

http://www.chow.com/recipes/29029-thanksgiving-turkey-cake

jordan has this little cousin, malcom. he is in 2nd grade. he has super special glow in the dark crazy monkey eyes! he's pretty good at wall ball. at this point in my life i want a dog much more than i want a kid, especially malcom's dog, i want his dog, but i do really like kids. especially this one ( Read more... )

if you are gonna puke off of a ride on purpose because you think it's funny, wait till you're at the top and the centripetal force isn't working against you. either way you'll feel great, but one way leaves you smelling better. also, eat pink popcorn and coors light first ( Read more... )

who the fuck cares, shut up ad

BREAKING UP SUCKS AND I HATE IT

Ariel Chilton ( Read more... )

NOT WRITING SOME DUMB SONG LYRICS, TAKE THAT, FUTURE SELF ( Read more... )

Dear Mrs. Meyer (writer ( Read more... )

eating more cheese than anyone else
writing with my left hand
talkin' big
self-loathing
parallel parking
probably some other stuff. aight, movie night!
laterZ