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[nudeasthenewss]

what you're telling me hundreds of miles away over a telephone is intangible but warm. intangible and warm until i realize that you're stringing me along into believing you are going to change but we both know that you won't. none of us will. i know the two of you build yourself up so high to one another like today is the day you're going to

Comments

[__psychichearts]

I want you to come home. I don't want you to hurt anymore.

[nudeasthenewss]

i don't want to hurt anymore either. but see now i can understand you better because i'm pretty sure you felt this exact desperation the entire time you were at school. i get to come home to you, that is one of the things i am most happy about. you know that i love you and cat power and cigarettes and coffee and i can't wait for all of them. i will call you later. <3

[cloudsinshapes]

i truly believe that if i am not around, the skies will clear up and there will be a lot more peace of mind. i just want everyone to be happy and i don't want to interfere or be some kind barrier because i don't like when people do that to me. as long as i'm around, i will be an obstacle. it's so obvious i'm not sure i would believe any other way. but i know i'm not alone when i say that i'm in a world of hurt and it isn't for no reason and it isn't over some random people. it wouldn't be like this with anyone else, it's ugly and beautiful at the same time. and it's destroying me mentally, physically.

[nudeasthenewss]

we are all barriers. i can't handle this anymore either. it is too big for me to comprehend anymore. it is obvious where priorities have been made and i'm not mad at any one for them. there has been a lot of cushining around the priorities and a lot of bullshit that is upsetting not only to me but to you and him too i'm sure. twenty years of friendship outweighs what i have given either of you and i know that i am probably the one who should walk away. you guys don't want me coming between you and i'm fucking sick and tired of coming between you anyway. three is a crowd. i know we'd all like to believe that we ourselves got the shittier end of the deal. i think we all pretty much lost something huge, maybe something a little less obvious to one another than it should be but i think we are all tired of hurting. it is ugly and beautiful and tired and big and worthless.