i am afraid of a lot of things. but i don't let that fear control my life like so many people i know and see. i guess it just depresses me. but mostly it just makes me want to grab and shake people and be like everything is not such a big fucking deal. because it isn't. and i'm sorry you live this way.

umm some girl is stealing things from my livejournal. creeps.

i am happy. i am happy with the people i spend my time with and the person i share myself with and i can keep running back to something that is comfortable or i can gravitate towards someone who is incredible. i don't need to make any sort of decision, he makes them for me. i feel insane saying that i don't need anything or anybody anymore. ( Read more... )

( things never were that bad )

i love rj and tony. i love that we can hangout just the three of us and go jump the fence to lincoln middle school just to run through fog and then sit in the hot tub discussing serious things like religion, homosexuality, and race and then watch 'a cinderella story' and fall asleep to it. friendships really are so much better than any ( Read more... )

i got a job today. i don't know what it is about working but after every shift i feel really terrible. i feel uncomfortable and like i need something or someone i know to speak with to feel normal. but most of the time everyone is doing something else and then i just end up feeling incredibly lonely. i don't think that this is okay. i am ( Read more... )

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the possibility of something greater is always there. but since it is a possibility then it's possibly worse. and there's no way of knowing until you let go. but some people are happy loving what they've got. i don't know which i am yet so the ground keeps getting more unsteady. i ask you questions that seem very important to me, but i feel ( Read more... )

i am pretty sure i am watching my life unfold on a t.v screen and i can't change anything. and even if i could, i am not sure that i would want to. i have been listening to a ton of modest mouse and simple things make sense to me like 'it's hard to be a human being, it's harder as everything else' and well, i am all of these different things at ( Read more... )

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