i'm giving up on all of my previous existence. i need glasses.

i have never felt so tired, or..in-between. a different hotel room every night, a different bed, different lighting. the same car, the same road, a different destination. the same body, the same mind, everyday more and more worn down. to be so dramatic i'd say worn down to the bone, to the skull, but i am holding up okay. the idea of my mother ( Read more... )

( kansas city, kansas )

my love will turn you on.

(and ps. i might be coming home on the 17th and if not then i will be home the 21st and i am so incredibly happy at the idea or thought of it and you and her)

tomorrow is kansas city. monday is texas. wenesday is roswell, new mexico. sunday is tahoe. wenesday is my early christmas present and love. the twenty seventh is a day i can only dream about. and the next six months is saving crazy amounts of money to move into an apartment with the best girl in existance (and get the fuck out of north ( Read more... )

the body of a tree is ( Read more... )

i am not jealous or bitter towards the happiness you have found. if i didn't know anything i'd know that you really, honestly deserve to be happy. and in my eyes, i'd never want anything more or less for you except happiness. no matter how much that hurts me and it hurts me now and it's hurting me for weeks and it will continue to hurt me. i ( Read more... )

( steady going nowhere )

liars and then truthtellers. the two people i am dying to see. dying. you and your new girlfriend and how soon i won't count. text messaging my only friends and calling them late at night from small cities covered all in white. seedy motel rooms and seedy people and a family that i'm not really a part of. holding myself together and falling ( Read more... )

i should stop feeling like this:

'i read poetry outloud, when i'm alone, and i try to steady my voice. it moves around quicker than my body, it goes from this place to this place to that-- i stay here. lonely, mostly. my voice it travels quiet paths on the outside of your life that i will never really know-- just remember. i don't eat because food ( Read more... )