Slipping Into Darkness... Ch. 5

[o2binla]

Title: Slipping Into Darkness... Ch. 5
Description: Canon AU beginning in 1983; Jack leaves Texas instead of dying. 
Warnings: MO!Jack.  More Jack coping than just plain forgetting about Ennis, but this story includes an *explicit* non-J/E pairing, in this chapter.  Feel free to skip it if you hate that. 
Comments: Much appreciated. 
Disclaimer: Not

Comments

[gnashsang]

best chapter yet! i loved the descriptions of everyday things, so evocotive... and the sense of loss and despair jack feels when he thinks about ennis. you cover so much ground so easily, new people, old friends, bobby and the horses, the truck that belonged to jack. just great!

the sex with tyler wasn't thaaat explicit! but it was enough. loved the line about the moon, and the air feeling like it might snow. loved the details... his father's abuse, the airplane ride stirring up bittersweet memories of mountain ranges when joseph pointed them out, the deliberation in signing the card, "yours, jack."

it's moving on jack, but ennis is definitely still in the cards. and it's so crushing to think they might be spending a whole year apart.

He was nine hours closer to Ennis now, but evidently their lives were further apart than ever.

shit, that's hard. :/ thank you for updating your story!

[o2binla]

Thank you, glad you liked it! I'm glad that Jack's low-level depression is coming through, as he's definitely not over Ennis but not so far gone that Tyler can't provide some well-deserved diversion. I don't think it's realistic that Jack would *ever* totally forget about Ennis, although his perspective on some things could shift. For some reason the smex here was kinda hard to write, lol, though you can rest assured that I have more in mind for the future :-)

[gnashsang]

hehe! i bet even that trucker that picked him up and dropped him off in signal couldn't forget ennis del mar! :D :D

i *almost* need a visual for tyler. is there an actor/athlete/celebrity that you can think of that resembles how you see him when you write? please don't say johnny depp, LOL. ;)

nice to hear from you!!

[o2binla]

I've been wondering how to allude to the visual, but there just doesn't seem to be a way that's not absurdly obvious. But I *definitely* have a visual in mind! Tyler is for sure hot -- I'm thinking he's a cross between a young Don Johnson and an older (and less skeevy) Aaron Carter! What do you think?
It's great to hear from you too. :-)

[freetraveller15]

I liked this very much, Lisa.
Your characterisations, dialogues and inner thougths feel so real.
One of my favourite passages:
He cursed himself for having hoped just a little, again. Didn't seem possible that it had been seven fuckin' months -- more than half a year! That could take his breath away, as the thought of a single month's separation used to cut right through him. Course, he'd spent the first part of last summer feeling like he might never see Ennis again... Was he getting better with the pain, or was he still just numb?

Eloquent and moving,
Thank you so much,
Paola

[o2binla]

Hi Paola, I'm glad you're enjoying it. Thank you for reading!

[soulan]

I reread this chapter because I'm pining for an update. Ennis' postcard just killed me all over again. I have to remind myself that he isn't feeling cold toward Jack - it isn't lack of sympathy but lack of empathy, I think. He can't imagine how his words sound to Jack.

Hope we'll be getting a new chapter soon!

[o2binla]

I think you're right -- Ennis is freaked that Jack moved at all, and anyway it's not like him to get effusive in a postcard. He's not really aware that Jack would like some comfort, and would feel uneasy offering it anyway.

Glad you're liking it! RL made writing impossible for a few weeks but I'm writing again now and should be able to post ch. 6 in the next couple of weeks.

[dwarfishdiva]

I'm pining too! very interested in your story. Love how you're writing Jack.

[o2binla]

Thanks! I have a big chunk of ch. 6 written and hope to have it up soon, if only RL will cooperate... :-)