My dad is giving away our christmas tree. It's a 5 foot plastic tree that we've had since I was little. I remember it being taller than me, and it makes me really sad that he's just going to give it away. He didn't even ask. He scoffed at me for even thinking about wanting to keep it. Granted, I am leaving in 15 days and won't be back for half ( Read more... )

I'm sitting at my sister's kitchen table, the words of ingrid michaelson filling my head with false hope. It's times like these I wish I could get in my car and drive to a new place, and just be there, for as long as it takes. Who knows how long that will be. But it's not the location, is the main character, right? Still, this must be learned ( Read more... )

I sat in the coffee shop today, nursing a headache of sorts with a couple cups of eau de vie. Last night (and bits of the morning) I went to a party. I wrote some poems, expressing the next-day state of mind ( Read more... )

I had a weird dream. Really weird. This guy that goes to berea that i've never spoken to picked a flower for me (a peanut blossom, to be exact....) and then this other guy that looks kind of like him but has a real scruffy beard and resembles the unibomber in some weird way, was trying to tell me he loved me. but he was real nervous. he told me ( Read more... )

Today started well. It progressively got worse, although i'm not sure why or when this transition began. I feel a little worse than i was before. a little more beaten down. but i've compelted my show work, and that feels good.

I had a committee meeting today. It also happens to be the first day of my period, and this one hit my especially hard. I felt like throwing knives at breakfast, and by three I felt the need to kick things. I also decided that I want a giant feather-down pillow-Hammock to sleep in. So anyway. I cried, at the meeting. I was overwhelmed with ( Read more... )

I'm going to remain insane. there is no cure for what i have, because what i have is trouble inflicted upon me by other people. hidden meanings, secrets and lies, these things eat at my brain until theres nothing left but a few dry crumbs. and then i forget all my troubles and i grow a new brain. but surely, this new brain doesnt last long. i ( Read more... )

It's interesting that I have not used this journal since Oct of 2007 but I swear it's been longer. Things havn't changed much. I went to Paris. It was amazing. But thats what I'm suposed to say, right? There was more to it than just being 'amazing', but it's far too complicated to explain through typing. I'm trying to be more bold. I don't ( Read more... )

I have decided to take log of how much my neighbors have sex. I think it's a lot...but that could just be me. So here goes ( Read more... )

we live in an age of choices. today, or tomorrow? now, or later? this, or that? When? Where? How? Why? these things make life have more meaning than simply surviving, and with that responsibility to make each moment a strategicly invested part of our futures, its hard sometimes to make the right choices, or see clearly what needs to be done ( Read more... )