PotC fic: Litany

Jan 18, 2009 16:13

Title: Litany ( Read more... )

potc fanfiction

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Comments 21

pghfoxfan January 19 2009, 01:07:13 UTC
Nice Mindy.

I like this line best.

"All right, Miss Taleisha. I would take...your loneliness."

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obfusc8er January 19 2009, 02:27:28 UTC
Thanks for the read-through and feedback.

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veronica_rich January 19 2009, 02:21:26 UTC
What a great backstory not only for Jack acquiring that bit of lace, but also "acquiring" Anamaria. It explains his willingness to put up with her getting on his case more than the average crew member (but I'm also glad to see he considers Anamaria enough of an equal to take her boat later on and know she can take care of herself, just like Mom told him *G*).

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obfusc8er January 19 2009, 02:31:17 UTC
Glad you liked it.

he considers Anamaria enough of an equal to take her boat later on

She's a tough cookie. And he's still a pirate. ;)

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mamazano January 19 2009, 02:44:53 UTC
I have been reading quite a bit about hangings lately, researching a story I am writing. I took a break, read this, and if was a chilling, epiphany of moments.

Incredible. You've captured that sense of finality, of futility, of hope and need of another human's touch, thoughts, presence.

Just incredible.

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obfusc8er January 19 2009, 02:57:41 UTC
Wow. High praise. Thank you.

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compassrose7577 January 19 2009, 03:52:44 UTC
Very effective! And very stunning!

Jack's err... emmm... modesty is both a blessing and his curse. A lesser man would have left the woman to her own suffering, but the "good man" will always prevail. Confessions in the dark do seem to come the most readily, and bear the most truth... or at least as truthful as he can be with himself. Two ships, passing in the night, indeed.

The whole piece does leave one a bit breathless, and haunted. Well done!

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obfusc8er January 19 2009, 04:24:36 UTC
Two ships, passing in the night, indeed.

Yes. I'm sure Jack would have known many, many women in passing, but I bet he'd never forget one like this.

Thanks much for the feedback.

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djarum99 January 19 2009, 05:18:10 UTC
Again, absolutely stunning. The blocking, the weaving together of elements of Jack's backstory, the extended metaphor of the litany, all beautifully done. The pacing is incredible, starting with Jack's initial self-focus and desperation and ending with that merciless cadence.

A very powerful, exquisitely written fic - I salute you ♥

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obfusc8er January 19 2009, 05:35:37 UTC
ending with that merciless cadence

"Enjoy" isn't the word, but I tend to appreciate stories that have a known but unavoidable, ugly Something that slowly creeps up on the characters. That's part of what I was aiming for. Good to know it came through.

Also, I'm happy to hear the pacing comment. That was of greatest importance to the story, because, on one level, the entire thing is a kind of...march.

And a salute to you, for helping me polish the story up and convincing me to post it. Thanks for the help and the feedback.

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