If any my friends would like to join me for a slice of pizza, they have 30 seconds to get moving.

Apparently I am supposed to include actual life events on this thing, so, I am. If you're coming, hurry the fuck up, it's going to be awesome. Awesome.

Just heard on the radio that a man who transports dead bodies to the morgue has been fired after he grabbed the wrong body - that of an old lady who was, in fact, not dead, but merely sleeping.

Comic!.
In other news, I am going to make a bitchin' stir fry this evening. Bitching!

I was a Teamkilling Fucktard last night, as I wiped out my entire squad with a pair of grenades. I had come around the corner leading to a bombed out hotel and building that contained an ammo storage depot, and spotted several Russian soldiers, who spotted me, ( Read more... )

It lives! Happy days (of no work) are here again.

...here.

... SUCKAS!
Dear Blog:

How I neglect thee. Life's grand, I moved. I just washed dishes. Boy is my life exciting.

I got in an argument with some moral relativists. They irritated me, but luckily, my morals allow for the stark, early morning execution of people I dislike (by firing squad, natch); it's not immoral, it's my frame of reference.

Best voicemail yet (weirder than pregnancy-girl):
Marge, this is Ellen, how many hours is it between here and Yella-knife, when you wanna make a phone call? *click*

In other news, I'm all moved in, life is grand, somewhat busy, also: I am madly in love, so, like, all you hate-ahs can just FOaD. Fo' Schizzle. Like Bacon.

robbyengvall (AIM)
1:33:17 PM :: he
1:33:18 PM :: y
1:33:21 PM :: h
1:33:22 PM :: e
1:33:23 PM :: y

obfuscating poet (AIM)
1:33:25 PM :: hi

Robby engvall (AIM)
1:33:38 PM :: whu r u?

obfuscating poet (AIM)
1:34:12 PM :: er, I'm afraid I don't speak that language

Robby engvall (AIM)
1:36:04 PM :: what, sry i don't speak gay l!

obfuscating poet ( Read more... )

I don't mean to toot my own horn (in this particular instance), but:
(Auto-reply) Wrapping presents. And bombs. Presents disguised as bombs, and vice-versa. Possibly presents disguised as presents. The possibilities are ENDLESS. If you want to talk, you may call, as the rest of the family is spreading their christ-butter...

Sometimes, I just don't know about my mom...
Mom: "So how was Pam last night? good?"
Me: "...UM..."
Dad & sister: laughter