OK. I feel a little better now. I did some productive practicing for around two hours, and became comfortable with the recorder again. I also did some meditation, which really helped. I suppose I was just having a panic attack, which culminated today.

The events of the last two weeks are the reason why I was smart enough to be a loner in high school. I don't know what I am going to do. Fuck. I just want to go far away, and never return here. I don't want to do anything right now. I would normally be practicing recorder now, but I have no motivation to do even that. I have a fucking concert on ( Read more... )

I feel lonely. Why do I bother with anything anymore? Fuck it all. I don't care.

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Me: Can I wear sandals for the concert?
Risa: Do you play baroque music?

HAHA

I don't know what to say anymore. I am at a loss for words. I feel like I fucked everything up ( Read more... )

I've never felt this miserable for this long of a time before.

Music has this amazing ability to transport one to a different world. Thank you Jordi Savall, wherever you are. I go to school for music- not drama or law.

I love being a scapegoat.

You didn't fool me. I knew you were there. Fuck. What can I do? Yay for alienation!