I was in this situation where I was left alone with an unknown person by a mutural friend of ours. After the initial moment of awkard silence passed, we started taking about the typical topics that strangers talk about, the weather, the traffic, the drunk lady who spilt beer on us as she stumbeled by, and we eventually wound up discussing S&M ( Read more... )

-Beth's mom said that the boy's locker room was flooded and they found feces everywhere.
What are feces?
-Baby mice.

I was outside ( Read more... )

I've kept myself cooped up inside this hell of a hole apartment for the majority of the day and evening, and finding myself possessed with a case of insomnia, at midnight, I ventured out to the balcony to talk on the phone as a potential cure, knowing that the one who I would be talking to would bore me to a state of semi-consciensiousness that ( Read more... )

O my poor parents ( Read more... )

Yesterday was different, I spent my time on something other than the ordinary studying and class goings that frequently punctuate and define my life's monotony. I picked up a book I had purchased a week earlier and read. And read. And read. Three hours later and halfway through, I get a call from Matthew, We begin discussing the goodness of the ( Read more... )

Im watching this painting guy, Bob Ross. He does live time paintings that really turn out quite nice. He is doing this mountain scene and he narates what he is doing the entire time. He is so funny. He paints in trees, and he says "Oh here is a little tree right here, oh yes, a nice little tree, and here, let's put in another one, this one is a ( Read more... )

Never underestimate the tampon, for it may just well be the last thing that you ever do.

For I will take your blood, and with the mullet, I will look damn good doing it.

Senior Chuck has a new novel coming out in May.

I find myself excited.

"Serpent!" screamed the Pidgen.

"I'm not a serpent!" said Alice indignantly.

"Serpent, I say again!" repeated the pidgen.