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[oceanic04]

I hate that a picture of his face lies in the back of my mind. I hate that he calls and I have to pretend like I am ok when I'm not. I have a broken heart. Even though I am hurting I still wish happiness for him. He talks to me about all the sadness he holds inside. I hate that he views himself in such negative ways and doesn't see everything about

Comments

[iamanevilkiwi]

why can't ya'll be together?

[oceanic04]

Even though we started dating six months ago, we both agreed when we first started dating that when I went off to school things would be over. Both of us said we didn't want anything serious, but that is not what happened. I don't get to see him very often since it's 3 1/2 hours away. He says he wants me to enjoy college fully and not feel held back by a relationship. I think also because our lives are going in new directions and he is ready to let go. He tells me he looks at everything we had and it makes him happy because it was all good, he wants to leave it at that. But for me, if everything is good then why can't it continue? He is already letting go though.

[suxstobenadia]

Val, it's like 6 in the morning and I'm reading your lj. kinda silly that I'm awake now. But guys are a doozey. They make and break your heart and Don't let your heart break because you are just too sweet.

I love ya Valerie! I hope you are the same great, amazing person that I loved to contridict with at CF.
<3 Nadia

[oceanic04]

I think I'm still the great, amazing person that you remember. You need to come to camp fuller this summer and be a CIT. Thank you for what you said, boys definitely are a doozey. <3Val

[chrissyten920]

i know you say that you don't want to be held back in a relationship while you're trying to have fun at college, but if it is breaking both your hearts so much, isn't that also holding you back? i don't know much about your past since i just met you, but it sounds like you two really care about each other..i wish you all the best!!

[oceanic04]

Thats just it, it's only breaking my heart. I'd love for us to be together, he's the one that thinks it's time to let go. Thank you for caring.

The only time I ever see you as at lunch and Edu. I never go over to the east side either. We should hang out one weekend, your east people meet my west people. We could have some good times.

[readysetrun]

he'll be sorry when he realizes that he can't find anyone as magnificent as you are. <3

[oceanic04]

Thanks Rachel, you're magnificent too.<3