I have a bad feeling about this -

I missed you so badly. All I could think about was being able to sit next to you and watch 4 movies in a row. I am afraid the best thing about me is that I love you. Your second favorite thing about me is that I'm sad. Both will be true for as long as I can predict but I'm pretty sure it's not substantial enough ( Read more... )

i genuinely need to take accountability for how truly ignorant & uninformed i am about middle eastern conflict & history. As a Jordanian, who Isreal shares 1/2 its border to - Jordan, home to 300,000+ Palestinian refugees - I was taught absolutely nothing in school about this. We never even acknowledged Palestine as a country in geography. my ( Read more... )

You brought me an iced coffee to your bedside table when you got yours. I woke up to it rested there, you were already in the other room working. It made me want to live forever. 

thank you for seeing me. please stay awhile.

I talk and I talk and I talk. I'm never really saying anything. I used to be quiet. I used to feel suffocated and silenced. I finally have the voice and I have nothing to say. Desperate to be heard, seen, loved, understood. All of me happens quietly in the dark. Alone ( Read more... )

It's too hard to say when it started. Being unsatisfied. I hate the impermenance of existing. I also hate the way it takes so long to waste away. I'm terrified of our shared fate. To someday rot or blow away. Anyways, it's Sunday and Halloween. I spent the better part of the weekend drunk, handing strangers water because of said hatred of existence ( Read more... )

you’re my tide.

i can feel it when we speak
and all the silly voices you make
You filled me with regret
but not in the ways you’d think
i’m tormented by my self doubt
you take me in tedious doses
with careful consideration
in all my busy false clout
you spill it without thought
or caution to the cause
youre magic in practice
self inflicted.

I don't know what i think, can't really keep track. I can't really tell if my insecurities are getting the better part of me. You have been very honest, calm and consistent. I just can't tell if after 2 months it should be "consistent". I guess I thought there would be that hill...the part where you can just exhale. I keep waiting for that. It's ( Read more... )

I live for the shadows of sorrow ( Read more... )

I've been so wrong so much ( Read more... )