it's weird. how i'll be walking around. and i notice something. every time i smell your scent. i still remember it. how crazy? and it automatically reminds me of you. i smelt it wednesday.  when i was leaving my last class. i smelt it. in the air. i don't know where it came from. but it was you. and when i noticed it, you automatically popped in ( Read more... )

why do i care? when you don't. you don't give anything. without worry. to feel more comfortable. keep me at distance. from what is unknown. just don't lie about it. because i still care.

take a step back. get used to the room. i hope you're comfortable. nevermind the pacing eyes, or the lethargic gestures. i want to let you in on something. to let you know how it feels. just for a second. to see through my eyes. i just want you to understand. god, i would give anything if you could understand. i'm not crazy. i know exactly what i ( Read more... )

i bloodied my hand today. punching a door mercilessly. i'm tired of this room, with all these false promises. i'm still waiting here. waiting for everything that's not coming. waiting for that grandoise event. waiting for  the day when my heart doesn't eat itself before i open my eyes. but it's not coming. it never will. just like you. and i still ( Read more... )

i craked open my head a little diving at every time i die. at least i got to scream into keith's microphone.

in other news nothing... like me.

 so i'm back in school. i guess it's ok. considering i've been here an eternal week so far... not much of a measuring stick i guess. i thought i would make this just an information update... maybe not abstract or anything. it doesn't matter. the others usually come out like shit anyway. but i'm trying... to do what, i don't know. just trying to ( Read more... )

waking up today was ok... considering i wasn't asleep. rain is always a plus. as is a vintage cordouroy shirt for 5 dollars.  i wonder what she did after work... i mean after she gave me that handful of now and laters... the only gift i've gotten this year. don't these three sentence mindbreaths piss you the fuck off?

what happened to things that i ( Read more... )

i've got these pictures.

memories that need to be expelled, but for some reason won't. i don't need these pictures. i don't want them. but i keep them. for what i don't know. maybe i'm just waiting for things that are never coming. but i still wait. i was never good at self-improvement. i'm more of a self-demolishinist. this is my choice, i suppose ( Read more... )

so sorry for the non-updates. my computer has come down with a virus... so i haven't updated. until now (library out of force). i don't know what to say. i'm going back to school... if not in august, by january. my hair is crazy... quite long and never brushed. plus, i bleached two strands in the front. if i had my camera on me, i would post some ( Read more... )

it's times like these, that i want to tell you everything. and that i want to spill everything out, but it never goes into a neat pattern like i expected. life is such an incondescent mirage of running into the same wall you ran into before. i'm tired of hitting the wall. and falling down. but i don't know how to change it. i'm tired of running ( Read more... )