sometimes it just becomes too much. i'm a train... that's run off it's tracks. and it's far to gone and lost to be saved now. what i wouldn't give to not wake up without a gaping hole... the part near your heart, but a little underneath. i think i'm going to try and fly tommorow.

do you really want to know how i've been?

i find myself reading... ( Read more... )

why are hidden innuendos still slicing up this heart?

no plan, no motive, no idea.

but i am still alive.

out of pressure, i attend this gathering. with this other person. and this person (i'm pretty sure it's a person), hands me a formula. that supposedly will help. i look away and realize being lost isn't as bad as someone told me once. it's who i am.

that's not me. not sitting on a cushion starring ( Read more... )

been a while.

and it doesn't matter.

and i want to come back.

and i want it all to end.

and that's all.

Looking at the sky this mild December morning, trying to realize what this is all about. Trying to take control of things that should be important... my life, school, my sanity... always just seems to slip away. The thoughts of August push them out as always. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger... where did i hear that? Maybe from someone in ( Read more... )

fuck. i don't really know. much about anything anymore. it seems like i've gotten some motivation back. or maybe not. i'm actually going to see a doctor on Friday... but just for my mom. she's worried about me. so she got me an appointment. i think it's bull shit. but i don't want her to worry about me. maybe it would help. i have no idea what the ( Read more... )

why do you stick to my head like an irredescent light blub that refuses to dim? i'm trying. i really am. quit making this harder for me. you're the one... that i'm saying this to. i think? try not to. time changes and fades things... camouflages it. if it was up to me i would end it all... but it's not. too many others are involved. whether i ( Read more... )

I want to know the meaning of it ( Read more... )

This post should have been done earlier, but it's here now, so yeah. So we have a dictatorship for four more years. This country and everything it stands for is vile. When did organize religion start running this country? Organized religion, the greatest tool ever invented by man to control you. We have re-elected a leader who plays on fear, who is ( Read more... )

It's a shame about him ( Read more... )