crisis averted. love is awful and beautiful.

i'm beyond terrified that i'm digging my own grave because you'll never be able to quit the idea of him. that's absolutely terrifying when rings start to come into the picture.

there's plenty wrong with the world, but really, we're here for such a short little time that feels like forever. we are so unaware of the fact that dreams are in some ways as real as the days we spend trudging through life. we are so unaware that forever is birth to death because the simple beating of our heart seems to dictate that more than our ( Read more... )

Life is in some ways always death. I sit here and wait for the sound of the second door slamming in the hall just to know that I've got you to talk to, though. I guess that means that I'm still alive and should stop taking this all for granted all of the time.

trust is the epitome of blind faith, and I absolutely detest believing in anything that I can't see with my own two eyes.

i know you talk to other guys regularly and you bury all traces of evidence from me making me fucking crazy just to know what you're saying. it always makes me think you have something to hide. i wish i was shitty enough to talk to other girls and fuck you up like that too, but i'm not, because i can't do that to you. maybe, i should. because at ( Read more... )

i know that you'll read this to find some insight into how i truly feel.

i still love you from the bottom of my heart.

I woke up in the middle of the night two nights ago and felt dead. I'm not sure what that means. it wasn't a sleep induced stupor, it was quite contrary. it was clear as ocean air. I buried those feelings as deep as I could. for years now, they've been in a deep grave that I refuse to dig up. but that night, they found me at my most vulnerable. ( Read more... )

all that I've learned is that even when you think you're doing the right thing, you're not. it appears that everything is an uphill battle and there is essentially no way out. this is also not new news to just about anyone, I think it just settles in much deeper when you come to realize it firsthand rather than through simply understanding it. I ( Read more... )

i do this thing where i think i'm real sick, but i won't go to the doctor to find out about it, 'cause they make you stay real still in a real small space as they chart up your insides and put them on display ( Read more... )