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of_starlight
my_dream_of_you
May 10, 2005 02:42
the sky (
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gaeten
May 11 2005, 05:26:11 UTC
well in the first section, i picture light.
then in the second section, my image transforms quickly to darkness.
(if thats what you wanted?)
i would like section 4 to say "there, i wait for you." :)
in 5, get rid of the "and" in "and my mind..." and put it infront of the line "i realize all.." so it says "and i realize..."
in 6 say "would you hear me?" for the 3rd line.
okay but these are all tiny, retarded suggestions. so you dont have to worry. lets go watch a movie!
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of_starlight
May 11 2005, 19:21:32 UTC
No, thank you... I fixed it... actually your suggestions allow it to flow much better.
And I would love to frikin watch a movie if you were frikin HERE.
*sad face*
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Comments 2
then in the second section, my image transforms quickly to darkness.
(if thats what you wanted?)
i would like section 4 to say "there, i wait for you." :)
in 5, get rid of the "and" in "and my mind..." and put it infront of the line "i realize all.." so it says "and i realize..."
in 6 say "would you hear me?" for the 3rd line.
okay but these are all tiny, retarded suggestions. so you dont have to worry. lets go watch a movie!
Reply
And I would love to frikin watch a movie if you were frikin HERE.
*sad face*
Reply
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