I'm pretty sure I've forgotten what feminine beauty is supposed to look like. This makes me sad. I love women, but sometimes I see everyone in terms of whether they weigh more or less than me.
Pills are taking over my life. I think they already have and I'm not even interested in getting help because I feel like I have nothing to live for, so I could not care less about the damage it's doing to my body. I want to be underweight (I know, that is fucked up but I can't help it). I hate myself. I am going crazy...really.
on saturday night, I cheated on my BF of 1.5 years. I did it again tonight. It's long distance, so I've rationalised it in my head. I know I'm horrible. It feels like I've given up on it, cause it's too hard. I'm going back over to my dirty little secret's house on wednesday, he's making me dinner and we will probably screw all night again. It's the best sex I've ever had, and I'm going to hell.
I don't think you're going to hell, but I /do/ think you have to be an adult about it. Think about what you want, be honest with both of them, and be honest with yourself.
I've cheated on my ldr boyfriend of 5 years. But I don't think I feel like shit enough over it. He just makes me so mad sometimes and I feel like he's not as right for me as he was a while ago...but I can't let go, and I can't be alone. hell for meeee
I drink. A lot. For over a year now, so it's safe to say I'm becoming an alcoholic right now. And I take too much of my pills, prescripted ones, just so i can forget this cruel world for a while. And i shoplift.
Worst part is, that i'm way too old for this shit.
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But I don't think I feel like shit enough over it. He just makes me so mad sometimes and I feel like he's not as right for me as he was a while ago...but I can't let go, and I can't be alone.
hell for meeee
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I drop out and 5 years after I'm doing something I like and I'm happier than ever.
I was so fucking afraid to do it... but I will never regret it. Best decision ever.
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Worst part is, that i'm way too old for this shit.
Thank you, DON'T come again /almost quoting Apu
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