i think the snowless winter reigns in nostalgic feelings. it makes me want to lay my head down on the cold ground and dream dreams of years previous.

also. missing that LAN connection, dial up is the spawn of satan. and rewatching titanic while eating ghirardelli chocolate squares is fun.

stress and cigarettes have been my only close companions these past two days. of course, it was minus my pack of cigarettes and $6, when miss katie amanda tossed them out of the window hid them. i suppose i should be thankful, but as i told katie a moment previously...some habits never die.

I haven't exactly been inspired lately. I spend my time like a cat, procrastinating and lazying the day away. Ah, it's so frustrating when a deadline looms ahead in the horizon, and I have 7 weeks of portfolio due the following day. of course, it's no one's fault but my own. Can't help but still tell myself that everything will be okay. Because it ( Read more... )

The snow white winter has me by the ear. I'm captivated by its serene, yet subtly morbid beauty. I say 'morbid', because it conjures up memories long past. Extended agony, eventual death, pearly tears, and deep depression. I tell myself now, that I'm too old to be depressed, and like a child I laugh it off, and tell myself I'm invincible. I am, you ( Read more... )

I'm not quite understanding how my body works, because I've seemingly been altered into an insomniac. I have not slept properly in 3 days, and my head in painful contact with the nearest wall sounds particularly pleasant as of this moment. It's too bad that I'm terrified of pain ( Read more... )

3 cigarettes later, and I was laughing at myself. Laughing at the fact that I sit here at my computer, desperately trying to write something psychological, interesting, or intelligent for my mentalities sake. The idea of proving myself to be some sort human, with at least higher then average intelligence...and not some mundane drone that is so ( Read more... )

Patience is a virtue that every person needs and should have. However, sometimes the line of how much patience one has can be easily breeched by a single action. In my unfortunate case, it's been multiple actions that have caused me to succumb to a feeling of severe impatience, laced tightly with rage. And I congratulate my roommate for this.

sometimes inspiration comes from the smallest of things. the sky draws intricate patterns in the sky, leaving us with nothing but smiles and a happy face. optimism sometimes cannot be resisted. so why fight it?

At my previous location, the muses seemed to have fled and my journal infested itself with mindless, senseless writing...instead of the intelligent thoughts and prose I had intended it to be.

This is a journal for myself.