(Untitled)

[ofsevenburdens]

All this time, geared to loathe on sight. With a wave and a tear, I’ll say goodbye. But what if I could change? Be the slave you’ve always dared to make me. In love and chains, I’ll wait for change. In vain. All in vain. We used to be like earth and breeze, one true and warm, the latter lacking substance. It’s clear to me that on my knees I’m

Comments

[lilk8r13]

I like it, who (if you don't mind me asking) is it about?

[ofsevenburdens]

Every woman who ever broke a heart yo.
Nobody in particular, though I could pick a few choice selections from middle school (shudder)

[lilk8r13]

damn those middle school girls.
but ah, yeah I really like it a lot.

[morbidinvalid]

I remember those certain middle school girls. I have classes with them now. ha. David, it's beautiful. I like how it flows very well.

[moshette_steph]

extremely well done. you touch-and-go on many different facets of a broken heart. my only qualm is with "velvet chains". i wasnt sure if you were going for kink or what. it seems like it could be a great tangent in and of itself, but seems off-target in context. i dunno. give it some thought?

[ofsevenburdens]

Velvet chains = bittersweet, soft to the touch but keeping you prisoner, that kind of thing. Where's your mind at? :-p

i like

[nesquikbabe49]

good song ..i love the lyrics....! thar's yer feedback! :)