Comments | ohanamd: Who are my friends?

ohanamd

Who are my friends?

Apr 22, 2006 20:19

Who are my friends? Who are your friends? Am I your friend? Are you mine?

Even more to the point, what is a friend?

For many years I’ve chuckled to myself about how loosely some people use the term “friend.” ( Read more... )

Comments 13

ar_wahan April 23 2006, 02:47:34 UTC

OK, here goes. I wiil understand if you delete this comment, although frankly, you arfe something of a coward if you do.

I friended you, you agreed we had a lot in common.

You were in financial trouble. I sent you a check, saying it was not a loan, but a gift, and to pass the gift on.

You do not respond. But again that is OK, given how I sent the gift.

Now, months have passed. You have never made a comment on my LJ. I sent a prayer to your friend Barbara. And yet, you could not even respond in the last few weeks, "Good luck on your upcoming breast bioposy"?

In the next few days, unless I hear a response from you, I will delete you as a friend. Because, sadly, you were never there. Friendship must be mutual -- even if not equal -- or it is not friendship at all.

mforbes321 April 23 2006, 08:36:28 UTC

I don't even know you but I want to wish you best wishes on your breast biopsy. I hope the results are good ones.

ar_wahan April 23 2006, 19:43:02 UTC

Thank you. I appreciate it. I am obviously feeling a bit testy about everything, because what I wrote to poor Michael came out looking a lot harsher this morning than I intended last night. I guess I found the topic he was putting out there -- what is friendship? -- ironic in the context of my already thinking this was not working out. I believe Michael is a very decent and honorable human being, which is I friended him in the first place. I also know that people who are depressed, ill and in pain, as he has been, can isolate themselves and appear self-absorbed, so I wanted to be understanding there, too. But last night, for some reason, something snapped. I apologize to him and to you and any other readers for my tone.

mforbes321 April 23 2006, 19:51:16 UTC

It seems like you met requirements 8 and 10 above to me. :)

And you're right to recognize the possible place he is coming from. I forget to do that sometimes.

Thread 9

mforbes321 April 23 2006, 08:46:05 UTC

8-11 are huge for me. I've always said that I have far more acquaintances than true friends. Most people I know in real life I consider acquantances because of how they respond to 8-11 above ( ... )

ohanamd April 24 2006, 03:34:54 UTC

I'll reply to some of this later. I want to consider it a bit.

She dares to show her face again . .. ar_wahan April 23 2006, 20:53:31 UTC

"2. Acquaintances: These are people we’ve met in some way (in person or online) but with whom we’ve had little in-depth conversation. We probably haven’t spent much (if any) social time with acquaintances. We probably don’t know much beyond surface-level information about our acquaintances. Many of our online friends are, in my terminology, acquaintances ( ... )

Re: She dares to show her face again . .. ohanamd April 24 2006, 03:39:59 UTC

I see you as an acquaintance who is becoming a friend. My experience of it is that these messages have moved you along in the direction of being a friend.

I have more to say, and I'll wait until tomorrow. That's one of my idiosyncrasies (that doesn't look to me like it's spelled right). I sometimes need to process things awhile before I'm ready to respond.