i'm scared.
i'm bored.
i'm anxious.
i'm stressed.
i'm hurting.
i'm laughing.
i'm praying.
i'm crying.
i'm awkward.
i'm singing.
i'm hoping.

i'm so tired with life right now.

what do you see when you pass me in the halls?
i'm sure it's nothing as how i see myself.
you have no idea what i will become,
more than you ever underestimated.

i wish everyone would stop bitching about their own life.
and begin to help others.
including myself.

i'm ready to throw in the towel.
fuck getting hurt.

sigh.
they always say
'once you hit rock bottom, 
things can only go up from there'
but i've THOUGHT i was the lowest of lows
since about June, now.
so what's stopping any other shit happening?
nothing.
just because it feels like rock bottom,
doesn't mean it is.
if it can get worse, it will.

and no one knows.
( Read more... )

it's so lonely being a good example.

rape.

death.

divorce.

these last 4 months have been horrendous.

i'm so sorry if i've been less than happy lately.

For the raindrop will never think it's responsible for the flood.

think on it.

smearedXemotions: all i know is that i wish i could get to the point where i love God and do what He says and that NOTHING else matters ( Read more... )

i have 2 weeks of laundry to wash.
a book to finish.
a book to begin.
a heart to break.
a bed to make.
[starting to rhyme here]
and a cold to get over.

SAWEEEEET.

i want to be beautiful to you.
i've forgotten how fun my dad is.
i need knee surgery.
i have taken my friends for granted.
i miss pat hugs.
i'm getting more blind every day.
they don't make the prescription i need.
i'm not as close to God anymore.
i hate that.
i love life.
but i bitch about alot.

"I've seen the world at it's best,
and i've seen it at it's ( Read more... )

Guys suck.
That fact never lets me down.

Seems as if I don't deserve happiness.
I don't need any guy to make me happy,
but the reassurance is nice.