( Read more... )

sometimes, i really wish i was blair waldorf.
i know her life isn't necessarily easier, but i admire her.
she's a fictional character, i know.
maybe it's all just escapism.
i think that perhaps i'm sick of all the boys in this school.
he may be a bastard, but at least chuck bass would be something different.
when i think a day's going to be tough, i make ( Read more... )

of school ( Read more... )

for all of this.
exams are over (finally).
things are getting better.
and as soon as something happens that's really worth writing about.

i'll put it here.

i'm not as strong as i like to make out.
i'm trying my absolute hardest to make it look as if i don't care, but i do.
the way you acted today really hurt me.
you aren't making things any easier.
i feel as if i'm being punished.
and i would give anything to fix this, but i am done making excuses for you.
if we don't talk, it won't get better.
you're ( Read more... )

i'm beginning to understand now.
the feeling goes away, but it's the memory of the feeling that lingers on.
i don't like you anymore, i know that for sure.
but i remember how it feels to like you.
i know what it's like to hang on to every word, to wish for an exchange of even the most simple words.
i remember the butterflies in my stomach whenever i saw ( Read more... )

i'd be lying if i said i hadn't thought about.
there is still a part of me that hopes we can fix this.
but an even bigger part that knows this was never meant to happen.
and i can live with that. i know i can.
but although i'd love to say i'm already over you, i'm not.
but i'm still here.
music is so much more powerful than i ever realised.
i wish you the ( Read more... )

that conversation last night was positively soul-destroying, i hope you know that.
but i realise something now.
i know now that i don't want anything more than what we had before this incident.
if maybe we could go back to being how we used to be on wednesday afternoons, and on myspace, occasionally talking and having a laugh, that'd be enough for me.
( Read more... )

i know what i'm going to say now.
i'm going to say this:

i've thought about what we said. i've thought so hard about it. i've read the conversation so many times, and it never fails to make me cry.
i do want to be your friend. now that i've realised that it's all i can have, i want it more than anything.

these feelings don't just go away, and i think ( Read more... )

i hate it when people say that being honest makes everything better.
it fucking DOESN'T.

i know that we had to talk sometime. i knew that every feeling i was trying so hard to ignore would come flooding back.

i didn't know that you'd act like you were so ashamed. like, you didn't want anyone know it. how could i not take that personally? it hurt so ( Read more... )