i miss mark the most when i'm at home, when i'm in a place that is familiar to me when i think of him; that relates to him. it's awful and i can't stand the crying, but i'm glad to have somewhere that reminds me of him. the bedroom where so much has happened. the hallway where i've greeted him and kissed him and pressed myself against him, and then ( Read more... )

i don't like to be negative.

there was a fire alarm last night/this morning. 3:45 fucking am. we've had about ten since i moved in here, because the alarms are really sensitive. but that's the first middle-of-the-night one we've had. not fucking impressed, i can tell you. by the time we were allowed back in it was 4:15 and i was too awake to get ( Read more... )

i'm tired, already. tired of university before two weeks are up. the only real friends i've made are those who live off campus or are leaving at christmas. the one other friend i thought i had is already phasing me out. i missed a seminar today, already. everything's happening already.

i don't know what to do. i don't know how to make this work for ( Read more... )

i thought i should post what went down.

wednesday evening, two weeks ago. he came over, unexpectedly. the usual. i start crying (silently) and look away. he asks what's wrong, twice, then says 'oi'. i reluctantly look at him, he kisses me. it seems like consolation, then he moves away and starts to get dressed. he says, 'we'll have longer next week ( Read more... )

i'm drunnkkkkk.
uni was shit at first and i was well depressed
now it's ace...
made a few friends, not loads bt a few... i'm still awkward and socially inept but it's working itself out
it's my birthday on friday, having a PARTAAAAAAAY
yeah boiii

"wish you all the best"

& that's what three years amounts to; the kind of farewell you'd write on a colleague's leaving card.

in six days i leave for university.

since my last update: i have finished work. it feels strange not having to get up early and go to work, and not having a routine, but it's also really nice to not have those commitments and i'm trying to relish it because in a couple of weeks i will be having lectures (agh!). i have about £250 in the bank from my ( Read more... )

i think i might be finally ready to let him go.

i feel better today.  :)
i'm going to give it a try; i mean i'll be back for holidays and some weekends and it's not i can't come home if i end up not liking it.

i dunno what to do for my birthday though. it's the friday of freshers week and i'm thinking, i should just stay at uni the entire week so that i don't miss out on anything, and so i don't ( Read more... )

where do i start. last night confirmed a number of growing fears for me, well really just one: university. i feel like i've only just begun to live, as in going out to bars and things, and all of a sudden i'm going off somewhere else. i know milton keynes is basically the laughing stock of england due to it's many roundabouts, grid system and ( Read more... )