The Boys of Summer
Title: The Boys of Summer
Pairings: Hanchul ,Kangin/Girl!Teuk , Kyuhyun/Girl!Sungmin(more pairings to come)
Rating: PG-13
Status: Part 2
Disclaimer: I do not own Super Junior. Or China. Or Korea.
Summary: AU. The epic summer of 1999 told via letters from Kim Heechul to Han Geng and back.
Letters 1 & 2
*A BONUS LETTER FROM KANGIN TO HAN GENG*
Geng,
How’s China?
I bet it’s wonderfully sane and normal.
Unlike your home.
We’ve been finding vegetables ALL OVER the place. Honestly, Geng, I found a couple of legumes in my trousers last night and the servants have been whispering about some sinister character dubbed the LOONY LEGUME LAD. Apparently, he’s marked us as his victims and will soon suffer an unimaginable death.
Death by legumes? It’s possible apparently.
I think this is all hearsay and nonsense and whatnot and so I tell Heenim and do you know what he did? He got all nervous and shifty before darting out the window. You wanna know what I think? I think he’s finally cracked. We all knew it would happen sooner or later.
So anyway back to you. I bet China is wonderful. The culture, the people.
Of course I’m only guessing because our friend WHO IS OFFICIALLY BONKERS has been keeping your letter like his life depended on it. The moment he got it, he’s holed himself up somewhere to read it ALONE. I tried to grab it from him but then he started spitting and hissing and so forth (which I completely blame on Heebum’s unhealthy influence) and now he’s been gone for an hour. I’m thinking I should probably get worried right about no--
Oh there he is. He’s jumping down the attic stairs. He really shouldn’t do that. Those stairs are centuries ol---
Well.
I’m off to get the first aid kit.
Kangin
PS. I’m thinking of dragging Heenim out to mingle with your wealthy neighbors because as much as I love your stately mansion, it’s not really helping me forget her. Plenty of other birds in the sea and all that if you know what I mean.
PPS. You don’t know what I mean, don’t you?
PPPS. Just told Heenim. Asked me “What’s the bloody point, man? It’s the same old sodding conspiracy anyway.”
PPPPS. What in the name of Mama Han’s dumplings is he on, I want to know.
*A LETTER FROM KIM HEECHUL TO HAN GENG*
Dearest Han Geng who has at last written proving that he has in fact not joined a travelling Chinese circus as their new monkey (which would at least have been interesting),
I am writing to you as soon as I could. Which was after an unfortunate encounter with your ROTTING STAIRCASE. I ALMOST required STITCHES, you tit. But I stood my ground in the matter (figuratively of course seeing as my leg was immobile at the time) but it stood nevertheless.
Well for today’s summer itinerary, Kangin had this maggot in his head about fishes and touring the neighbourhood and somehow he wrangled me right into the middle of it. I think it was the promise of getting a piggyback ride but I couldn’t be that shallow.
Please don’t say anything at all if you know what’s good for you.
Anyway, your so-called brother Kyuhyun has also managed to free himself from the cupboard with nothing but a spoon (Don’t ask me. He’s your brother.) and has pestered us into letting him come along. And before you accuse us of leading your brother into the path of corruption, I’ll have you know that you weren’t there for the 20 minute non-stop replay of “Hyung, can I come?”
20 minutes I’ll never get back, you prat.
When we were finally able to set off to hunt for birds and fishes and other metaphorical animals Kangin sets his mind on, the most amazing thing happened.
And no, I am not talking about the old man we saw watering his plants on the buff possibly scarring us all for life and the hereafter.
I’m talking about Leeteuk, Geng! She with the burnished brown locks and harsh letdowns (Is it sad that this was actually a direct quote from Kangin’s recent foray into poetry?) of that infamous incident we dare not speak of beyond the grave lest Kangin does violence on our person etc, etc. She and a friend of hers, Sungmin I think her name was, were walking right towards us and OH MY GOD I HAVE GOT TO STOP HAVING FLASHBACKS OF THE AWKWARD SLICE-WITH-A-KNIFE-TYPE-TENSION FIASCO THAT SOON FOLLOWED BECAUSE I’M LAUGHING SO HARD THE SERVANTS WILL LIKELY BURST IN ANY MINUTE WITH GARLIC AND HOLY WATER THINKING I HAVE TO BE EXORCISED (Don’t look at me like that. I’ve heard what they’ve been saying about me.) AND FOR FUCK’S SAKE, WHAT IN THE NAME OF--WHY AM I CRYING AND IS THAT DROOL? OH LORD, OH LORD. I CAN’T BREA-
I hope you’re happy knowing your servants have nearly staked me in the heart with a crucifix. I am never laughing again. Ever.
So anyway since you’re a bajillion miles away for your Summer Fah-La-La (which is and will always be called a Fah-La-La as it is a Fah-La-La and is a title that is catching on more quickly than the Boring Blah Blah Blah Program) and thus was not able to witness the awesomeness that went on today, I think it’s imperative that you know the following items:
1. Kangin can turn into an alarming shade of puce. Not attractive, I repeat, not attractive.
2. Leeteuk’s nose is bigger than Shindong’s underpants.
3. Leeteuk is strangely embarrassed and awkward for someone who is supposedly a heartless vixen.
4. Your brother and Sungmin (You remember her. Ate half of the boys in our year alive.) apparently have this love-hate fandango going on and it kind of makes me want to bash their heads together. Sungmin was dripping brimstone and hellfire and scoffing, “Where’s your game boy, nerdface?” (Clever) and Kyuhyun got all sputtery and red and shot back, “In my house, witch.” (What?) at which point it travelled into the “Yo’ Momma” territory and honest to God, am I the only one who thinks they should be locked in a closet because clearly, they just want to jump each other bad. BAAAD.
5. Told your brother this and I think he just shot me five times in his head.
That is all for now. Kangin still owes me a piggy back ride.
Which will be postponed in light of current events.
One of which involves him DANGLING FROM THE FREAKING BALCONY. WHAT FRESH HELL-
The Beijing to your Fried Rice,
Kim Heechul
PS: HERE ARE YOUR STUPID DUMPLINGS, YOU STUPID, STUPID BOY. WHY AREN’T YOU EATING??? I’VE SEEN YOUR PICTURES AND YOU LOOK LIKE A FREAKING STICK WITH STUPID HAIR. IF YOU SEND ME ANOTHER PICTURE LIKE THAT ONE, I SWEAR I’M GOING TO FLY OVER THERE AND FORCE FEED YOU WITH A SHOVEL.
PPS: WHY ARE YOU SO BIG ON THIS KNOCKING BUSINESS? IT’S NOT LIKE YOU DO ANYTHING REMOTELY SCANDALOUS OR INTERESTING IN YOUR ROOM.
PPPS: OR DO YOU?
PPPPS: KANGIN’S STILL STUCK BUT DON’T WORRY KYU JUST BROUGHT OUT THE TRAMPOLINES.
---
Han Geng's letter is in the next chapter. :)
I'm trying to be realistic so some details aren't specified in the letters so if you're confused, just ask me.
Thanks for reading! *CONFETTI*
Btw, maybe you guys can suggest some pairings you'd like to see in the future and why. :)
Pairings: Hanchul ,Kangin/Girl!Teuk , Kyuhyun/Girl!Sungmin(more pairings to come)
Rating: PG-13
Status: Part 2
Disclaimer: I do not own Super Junior. Or China. Or Korea.
Summary: AU. The epic summer of 1999 told via letters from Kim Heechul to Han Geng and back.
Letters 1 & 2
*A BONUS LETTER FROM KANGIN TO HAN GENG*
Geng,
How’s China?
I bet it’s wonderfully sane and normal.
Unlike your home.
We’ve been finding vegetables ALL OVER the place. Honestly, Geng, I found a couple of legumes in my trousers last night and the servants have been whispering about some sinister character dubbed the LOONY LEGUME LAD. Apparently, he’s marked us as his victims and will soon suffer an unimaginable death.
Death by legumes? It’s possible apparently.
I think this is all hearsay and nonsense and whatnot and so I tell Heenim and do you know what he did? He got all nervous and shifty before darting out the window. You wanna know what I think? I think he’s finally cracked. We all knew it would happen sooner or later.
So anyway back to you. I bet China is wonderful. The culture, the people.
Of course I’m only guessing because our friend WHO IS OFFICIALLY BONKERS has been keeping your letter like his life depended on it. The moment he got it, he’s holed himself up somewhere to read it ALONE. I tried to grab it from him but then he started spitting and hissing and so forth (which I completely blame on Heebum’s unhealthy influence) and now he’s been gone for an hour. I’m thinking I should probably get worried right about no--
Oh there he is. He’s jumping down the attic stairs. He really shouldn’t do that. Those stairs are centuries ol---
Well.
I’m off to get the first aid kit.
Kangin
PS. I’m thinking of dragging Heenim out to mingle with your wealthy neighbors because as much as I love your stately mansion, it’s not really helping me forget her. Plenty of other birds in the sea and all that if you know what I mean.
PPS. You don’t know what I mean, don’t you?
PPPS. Just told Heenim. Asked me “What’s the bloody point, man? It’s the same old sodding conspiracy anyway.”
PPPPS. What in the name of Mama Han’s dumplings is he on, I want to know.
*A LETTER FROM KIM HEECHUL TO HAN GENG*
Dearest Han Geng who has at last written proving that he has in fact not joined a travelling Chinese circus as their new monkey (which would at least have been interesting),
I am writing to you as soon as I could. Which was after an unfortunate encounter with your ROTTING STAIRCASE. I ALMOST required STITCHES, you tit. But I stood my ground in the matter (figuratively of course seeing as my leg was immobile at the time) but it stood nevertheless.
Well for today’s summer itinerary, Kangin had this maggot in his head about fishes and touring the neighbourhood and somehow he wrangled me right into the middle of it. I think it was the promise of getting a piggyback ride but I couldn’t be that shallow.
Please don’t say anything at all if you know what’s good for you.
Anyway, your so-called brother Kyuhyun has also managed to free himself from the cupboard with nothing but a spoon (Don’t ask me. He’s your brother.) and has pestered us into letting him come along. And before you accuse us of leading your brother into the path of corruption, I’ll have you know that you weren’t there for the 20 minute non-stop replay of “Hyung, can I come?”
20 minutes I’ll never get back, you prat.
When we were finally able to set off to hunt for birds and fishes and other metaphorical animals Kangin sets his mind on, the most amazing thing happened.
And no, I am not talking about the old man we saw watering his plants on the buff possibly scarring us all for life and the hereafter.
I’m talking about Leeteuk, Geng! She with the burnished brown locks and harsh letdowns (Is it sad that this was actually a direct quote from Kangin’s recent foray into poetry?) of that infamous incident we dare not speak of beyond the grave lest Kangin does violence on our person etc, etc. She and a friend of hers, Sungmin I think her name was, were walking right towards us and OH MY GOD I HAVE GOT TO STOP HAVING FLASHBACKS OF THE AWKWARD SLICE-WITH-A-KNIFE-TYPE-TENSION FIASCO THAT SOON FOLLOWED BECAUSE I’M LAUGHING SO HARD THE SERVANTS WILL LIKELY BURST IN ANY MINUTE WITH GARLIC AND HOLY WATER THINKING I HAVE TO BE EXORCISED (Don’t look at me like that. I’ve heard what they’ve been saying about me.) AND FOR FUCK’S SAKE, WHAT IN THE NAME OF--WHY AM I CRYING AND IS THAT DROOL? OH LORD, OH LORD. I CAN’T BREA-
I hope you’re happy knowing your servants have nearly staked me in the heart with a crucifix. I am never laughing again. Ever.
So anyway since you’re a bajillion miles away for your Summer Fah-La-La (which is and will always be called a Fah-La-La as it is a Fah-La-La and is a title that is catching on more quickly than the Boring Blah Blah Blah Program) and thus was not able to witness the awesomeness that went on today, I think it’s imperative that you know the following items:
1. Kangin can turn into an alarming shade of puce. Not attractive, I repeat, not attractive.
2. Leeteuk’s nose is bigger than Shindong’s underpants.
3. Leeteuk is strangely embarrassed and awkward for someone who is supposedly a heartless vixen.
4. Your brother and Sungmin (You remember her. Ate half of the boys in our year alive.) apparently have this love-hate fandango going on and it kind of makes me want to bash their heads together. Sungmin was dripping brimstone and hellfire and scoffing, “Where’s your game boy, nerdface?” (Clever) and Kyuhyun got all sputtery and red and shot back, “In my house, witch.” (What?) at which point it travelled into the “Yo’ Momma” territory and honest to God, am I the only one who thinks they should be locked in a closet because clearly, they just want to jump each other bad. BAAAD.
5. Told your brother this and I think he just shot me five times in his head.
That is all for now. Kangin still owes me a piggy back ride.
Which will be postponed in light of current events.
One of which involves him DANGLING FROM THE FREAKING BALCONY. WHAT FRESH HELL-
The Beijing to your Fried Rice,
Kim Heechul
PS: HERE ARE YOUR STUPID DUMPLINGS, YOU STUPID, STUPID BOY. WHY AREN’T YOU EATING??? I’VE SEEN YOUR PICTURES AND YOU LOOK LIKE A FREAKING STICK WITH STUPID HAIR. IF YOU SEND ME ANOTHER PICTURE LIKE THAT ONE, I SWEAR I’M GOING TO FLY OVER THERE AND FORCE FEED YOU WITH A SHOVEL.
PPS: WHY ARE YOU SO BIG ON THIS KNOCKING BUSINESS? IT’S NOT LIKE YOU DO ANYTHING REMOTELY SCANDALOUS OR INTERESTING IN YOUR ROOM.
PPPS: OR DO YOU?
PPPPS: KANGIN’S STILL STUCK BUT DON’T WORRY KYU JUST BROUGHT OUT THE TRAMPOLINES.
---
Han Geng's letter is in the next chapter. :)
I'm trying to be realistic so some details aren't specified in the letters so if you're confused, just ask me.
Thanks for reading! *CONFETTI*
Btw, maybe you guys can suggest some pairings you'd like to see in the future and why. :)