No one reads this anymore. I wouldn't expect them to.  The last entry maybe to attest to what is and what isn't -- a past I left in the dust ( Read more... )

I only kept this live for you, but you disappeared in 2009 and that was it.  The end.  Goodbye.  

I've been working all week... working my ass off.  I'm exhausted and sick of it but feeling good.  I got a job as a dog bather and brusher.  Don't know how it happened, it just did.  I walked in said I needed a job, wrote my name down and they called.... and they liked me.  They liked me a lot ( Read more... )

He hit me in the face with a bottle.  Plastic, but the cap hit my eye.  He hit me in the fucking face with a fucking bottle ( Read more... )

It's early now.  Heading home soon.   Denver and the Rockies was spectacular.   There's nothing else to say.  As I watch the sunrise over the mountains, mist settling on the snow capped tips, I take a whiff of the cool mountain air, the air that I know would clean your lungs in the winter.  Memories hit me like I'm a punching bag.  I left when I ( Read more... )

stayed up too late talking to you.  Kyle sat on your couch and pretended like he was interested, but I knew he wasn't, he was bored.  These things don't interest him, you see, but because you're excited and you're rambling he pretends like he gives a fuck.  He doesn't, just to let you know, if I were to show him what you showed us he'd tell me ( Read more... )

It's late again.  I only post late, it's the only time I can get away.  Typically, I wouldn't know what to write, my fingers would be shaking and I'd hit my head against the keyboard in hopes of finding something.  But there's no need.  There's him.  Like that soul hearted affection that takes over people when they lose someone they love or meet ( Read more... )

At the end of the day I just feel dumb.  Resentful, and dumb.  Let down.  Frustrated.  Dumb. Or maybe enlightened.  I grinned myself to sleep yesterday.  Because he walked out in a blue hoody and jeans, and on a rainy spring day with the camera on his shoulder somehow his whole persona had changed.  He looked like a photographer, a side of him I'd ( Read more... )

I needed to go somewhere private to get this off my chest.  He reads my tumblr and I can't keep any secrets there.  At least here, I know he'll never visit, it would involve taking a deeper interest in me aside from what's on the surface ( Read more... )

I want to wash you from my brain.  You're a god damned cancer and i'm sick of being confused, sick of crying over you.  You don't love me, but you say things that someone who loved me would and I'm left standing here just to be abused again.  After all you've put me through you'd think you could just let me go.  You're a reminder of everything ( Read more... )