i feek like shit. i feel like complete shit... i thought i was goinv to marry this guy but he has been cheatng on me since august. i feel like complete shit..

this is probable the hardest thing i evef had to deal with.
it hurts so bad.

i loved him. i loved him so much...

i feel so damn sick...

Nathan said he was gonna see me after i got off work... i got off at 5:40pm... and its now 10:50pm...

wonderful.

merry christmas.

oh if you are wondering... yes im not happy about this. i just pretend like everything is ok so he will love me. this is what my life has become. thank you livejournal for letting me vent to you.

UGHHH

so last night nathan met up with me, sunny, and rocky at bome depot. so awesome! then he came over to sunnys and chilled. then he left.

he wNted me go send dirty pics which i did and he just came over without me asking. omg it was wonderful!  we did the norm then we had anal and he wanted me to touch myself. felt so effing good! he just layed in my ( Read more... )

Hahha the title is great for this story.

So this morning I woke up and did the usual "good morning honey" he said "hi babe" and I told him I had a dream about him again and he's like... Oh yeah and I said yeah, you and I were at a party or at a pool or something, it was sunset and we started making out and I said "it's been a while" and he's like " ( Read more... )

Today nathan tool us out to ko-ko nut hut for dinner. And we bangy bangy in the patio and it was so good!!

Lol besides the point.

I noticed I never post anything about my relationship.
I noticed it's because we put our phones away and we're too busy looking into each other's eyes and smile. Those moments mean more to life than a picture. I am so ( Read more... )

I wanna get married... :/

- food gets served to me and hubby first, then family and bridal party, finally guests.
- spotlight on every dance and speeches
- give a drink to hubby before wedding
- bridesmaids (julia r, sunny, Sarah, Jessica s, jess m, lauren fm)

Every time I see engagement rings on fb or instagram... my stomach sinks...

I'M READY TO GET MARRIED FOOL!

Every day, I just think about marrying the man of my life. I wonder if  if we will get married. I wonder how he is going to do it. If he's going to ask my parents first. I wonder if he's going to pick out the ring or if will have me pick something out.i wonder if he would cry seeing me walk down the issle. I WANNA KNOW!!  I WANT TO MARRY HIM!!! it ( Read more... )

Sometimes, when my boyfriend doesn't talk to me all day, I like to think he's looking for an engagement ring for me... that way I calm down a bit...

But in reality, he's not...