I've done a lot of shitty things to decent people. To be honest i dont regret to many of them. the ones that i do regret i tend to think about a lot. how do you apologize for knowingly being a fucking asshole? it's not like these things were accidents. I knew the situation, i knew the repercussions and i did it anyway. So much time has gone by that ( Read more... )

i am so tired. i have a doctors appointment next friday, i 've been out of it lately, i dont really know how to describe it. i fainted the other night at work, fell right out of my chair. i totally blacked out it was scary. i have no recollection of falling down, only being on the floor. i know for sure i'm not pregnant, i'm not sure what else ( Read more... )

what the hell is wrong with me? i am think i am loosing my mind. i feel horrible and pathetic. sometimes i cant decide which of my feelings are real. i want to hurt myself i feel like complete shit for no reason. i think that other than christopher there is no one in the world who would care if i dropped dead. i don't know why i get like this. if i ( Read more... )

My job sucks ass. really. i still have not gotten my sixth month review, after which i am supposed to get a pay raise and i have worked here almost 10 months. i have to deal with people yelling in my ear for 8 hrs. a day and they cant even give me a god damn fucking review. did i mention that before i can put in for a better position i have to have ( Read more... )

serious drug problems are not cool. they are not sexy. they do not make anyone seem sophisticated or eclectic.

Well, I started a new diet yesterday. Three meals and three snacks a day. no sugar, no fried food ect It's been o.k. so far. Chistopher is being supportive, which is really helpfull.
work still sucks....oh well what can you do?

i feel like something is missing. i have no idea where it is or how to find it.

can someone tell me why i continually try to sabotoge all of the good things in my life?
i woke up with a nosebleed this morning. gross.

Today sucked ass. I ditched out on school again due to shear laziness and had a shitty day at work (as always). I just can't get used to condescending twats fucking yelling at me. i want a drink or a twenty sack, neither of which i can afford ( Read more... )

So, usually all i do is bitch on this thing. But not tonight. I am actually really, sincerely happy for the first time in a very long time.
Blame it on the wedding ring i guess.