Tell Me When You Hear My Heart Stop (1/2)
Title: Tell Me When Your Hear My Heart Stop (1/2)
Author: justanerdyangel
Characters/Pairing: Dean Winchester, Castiel, Bobby Singer, Chuck Shurley (God). Dean/Castiel
Rating: R
Word Count: 2,027
Summary: After the loss of Sam, Dean begs Castiel to stay with him. Eventually Castiel agrees, and goes to find Chuck (God) to make him human. Fifty-one years into the future, Castiel dies, and Dean has to go on living without him.
Spoilers: All of 5x22
Disclaimer: All Supernatural characters are owned by Kripke and the CW. If I owned them, well, let's just say I'd die a happy fangirl.
Author's Notes: Special thanks goes out to all of my friends listening to me complain about how I couldn't write smut and that I finally overcame that obstacle. More special thanks to my friend Abby who was so kind as to beta this for me. The beginning of this fic broke my heart. Click the link in the fic to listen to the song (via YouTube). This is my first time writing actual slash (as in porn-y slash), so be gentle? Feedback is welcome.
The final apocalypse was over, and Dean sat back on his haunches, bloody and broken in Stull Cemetery. He lost Sam, Bobby, and Castiel - the three people that kept him sane, grounded, and whole. When Cas came back and healed him and brought Bobby back to life, the lone Winchester brother felt the tiniest bit better.
After Cas and Bobby had left, Dean sat in the Impala, staring at the spot where Sam last stood before going into Lucifer's cage. He swallowed hard, and reached into the backseat of the car where he threw Sam's iPod adapter over a year ago. Pulling it forward, Dean looked at it, and shook his head. "Sammy," he said, running his thumb over the plastic fake cassette tape. Dean leaned over to the glove compartment, where Sam usually kept his iPod, and dug out the device, plugging it all in and cranking up the stereo. This was usually the part where Sam would try to turn the music down, having a little bit of respect for the dead. But he wasn't here now. Sam Winchester sacrificed himself for all of them, the human race. Dean turned on the iPod and flipped through it, to one of Sam's favorite songs. The song in question wasn't Dean's usual taste in music, but he listened to it, over and over again, letting the sobs that he was holding back wrack through him until nightfall.
Dean Winchester left the cemetery, and was just going to drive. Drive until he couldn't anymore, and then do it ten more times. He was somewhere along the outskirts of Omaha, driving up to see Bobby, just to check in on him, see how he was holding up, when a shape appeared. Dean caught it out of the corner of his eye, and turned his head slightly.
"What are you going to do now?" he asked, continuing the drive, but taking one hand off the wheel and letting his arm rest against the window.
Castiel was quick to reply. "Return to heaven, I suppose." The angel hadn't really thought about it that much, and didn't really know what other answer to give Dean.
A moment passed before Dean raised an eyebrow and looked at Cas for more than just a second, taking his eyes off the road. "Heaven?"
"With Michael in the cage, I'm sure it's total anarchy up there," Castiel said, staring straight at the road, as if Dean was blind and the angel was his eyes.
At that response, Dean pulled over to the side of the road and turned the engine off, letting the cars behind him pass the Impala by so he could get a good look at Castiel. "Cas..." Dean said, as the name trailed off, leaving a heavy silence in the air.
Castiel shifted in the car's passenger seat a little, and finally returned Dean's gaze. "Dean."
"Don't. Just...don't go."
A confused expression overcame the angel's face as he tilted his head. "I have to, Dean. It would be wrong of me not to."
The hunter looked down for a moment, green eyes unlocking from blue ones. "After everything that's happened, you're just willing to throw it away? You're just going to go back to heaven, and forget about me?" Dean asked, looking back up. He knew he was being selfish right now, but he needed someone to be there with him. He needed a shoulder to cry on, someone to continue hunting with, and someone to love. "Damn it, Cas, I can't do it alone. I just lost Sam. I can't-"
Dean's words were cut off when Castiel moved closer, putting an arm around him, holding this mortal man close, giving him some sort of comfort. "I know it hurts." Those words alone were enough for Dean as he practically clung to the angel, taking in everything about him, committing them to memory. The two sat for what seemed like hours in the car, and eventually, Dean fell asleep in Cas' arms.
~*~
The afternoon after the day Sam gave himself up and fell into the pit, Dean woke up to Castiel holding onto him. All of the events of the day before hit him, finally making the hunter realize that what had happened was real and not some nightmare.
"Cas?” Dean asked, making a feeble attempt to get out of the angel's arms.
"Yes, Dean?" Castiel replied.
"You can let go of me now."
Castiel unwrapped his arms from Dean's body, and Dean sat up, but never once took his eyes off of the angel.
"Are you still going to go back? Be the new sheriff in town?" the hunter questioned.
"I have to Dean. It's my duty to God," Cas answered.
Dean felt his heart drop a little, but nodded as he started up the car, continuing the drive up to Bobby's. "Stay with me until we get to Bobby's? After that, you can go back. It's a few more hours away."
Castiel opened his mouth to speak in protest, to tell Dean that he needed to go now, but shut it, and silently nodded. "I'll stay for you," he agreed.
The next couple of hours went by silently, Castiel staring at the road again and Dean not even in the mood to listen to any songs on the iPod or to surf the radio stations to find any good songs.
The Impala stopped in front of a roadside diner, and Dean got out, followed quickly by Cas. They went inside, and took a table in the far part of the diner, away from the crowd that was trickling in for the dinner rush. A waitress came and handed them menus, telling them the daily specials were a Philly steak sandwich and beef stew, and left them to decide on what to have.
Lunch came and went, both of them having a bacon cheeseburger with the works, and soon they were getting ready to go back out on the road. They drove again, and this time Dean turned on the stereo, knowing that the iPod was still connected, but he didn't care. He needed something - anything - to distract himself. Sam's song came through the speakers, and Castiel listened to it, though he normally tried to drown out the music.
~*~
Half an hour outside of Sioux Falls, forty-five minutes away from Bobby's, the car stopped again at a small motel and Dean got out, getting a room. He almost requested for one with two beds, but before he could open his mouth to ask for one, the desk clerk informed him that the only room they had left was one with a king bed. Dean turned around and looked at Cas sitting in the Impala, then back to the clerk. "That's fine."
Dean returned to the car and said nothing, pulling it in front of the room that was assigned to him and got out, this time the angel following suit. The hunter pulled out the key to the room and looked at Cas. "We'll go up tomorrow," Dean promised as he faked a yawn, and sat on the bed. Castiel did the same, and the two sat in silence for a few moments before Cas said anything.
"Dean, I can't go back," he started. "I've thought about what you said earlier, about me forgetting about you. I can't forget about you. I need to stay here, with you. You're too important to me. I'd rather give up everything just to be here."
The hunter looked over, a bit startled at what was just reveled to him. But Dean relaxed, and reached over to take Castiel's hand. "Cas, I..." Dean started as the angel finally turned his head to look at him. Dean never did finish that sentence, because as soon as Castiel faced him, he leaned in close, and pressed his lips against Castiel's.
Castiel was caught off guard and tensed up more than he normally was, but relaxed as Dean’s tongue snaked out and flicked against his lips. Cas let his instincts take over as he allowed Dean entrance, deepening the kiss as his own tongue seeked out Dean's mouth, and soon put his arms around Dean, one hand running through his hair and over his back, his fingertips gently playing with the hair on his neck. Dean moaned into Cas' mouth, and did the same that the angel did to him, finally wrapping his arms around Castiel, Cas rewarding him with an identical moan. Dean could feel his dick growing in his pants. He wanted - no, needed - Cas. Needed to taste him, be with him, love him. Dean pulled away for a moment, rather abruptly after five minutes them playing tonsil hockey, and Castiel let go of Dean.
Dean looked at Cas, his face an inch away from the angel's, their eyes locking, neither one blinking or looking away, almost as if they were looking into one another's soul. "I need you," Dean said in a low voice, almost as a growl. "Now." With those words, Dean practically tore the trench coat off of Cas, and pushed him further onto the bed to straddle his hips. Dean removed Cas' tie, followed by the ripping off of the shirt and undoing the belt, sliding the khakis down the angel's body. The hunter removed his own shirt, and went to undo his jeans, watching as Castiel's chest moved up and down slowly before laying eyes on the enlarged cock that Cas possessed, making his own ache in anticipation.
Their lips smashed together again, this time Castiel allowing Dean's tongue access to his mouth before Dean even had the chance to flick his tongue against those lips. Tongues danced among the other's mouth, and Dean pulled Cas' legs apart, hoisting them up on his shoulders. He lined himself up with the hole between the two globes of flesh, and pushed in gently with Cas moaning in Dean's mouth.
"God, you're so tight," Dean commented in a low growl. The angel nodded a little, as Dean continued to push into Cas' hole until he reached the hilt. Dean knew that he wasn't going to be able to last long, not with how tight Castiel's ass was. Dean broke their kiss again, leaving a trail of kisses along the angel's neck and chest, licking, sucking, and biting at each nipple, then returning to the feverishly passionate kissing. Dean took Castiel's pulsating cock into his hand, and began moving his fist up and down it, going at the same rhythm that his dick was in Cas' ass.
Ten minutes later, Dean started going harder, faster than he ever did in his life, keeping the same pace as his hand job that he was giving to his guardian angel. His face was flushed pink, and the tiniest glimmer of sweat started forming at his brow. Cas' breathing was short and heavy, and wasn't going to be able to last much longer. Both of them could feel their orgasms building and after a few more minutes, Dean lost all of his control. "Fuck, Cas. I'm going to come!"
Castiel moaned Dean's name over and over again loudly, letting his own orgasm sweep over him, the angel's come hitting both of them on the chest. That was more than enough for Dean, and soon was burying his dick into Cas' ass, emptying himself.
~*~
The hunter and his angel showered together, each taking turns washing and drying the other off. Dean paid Castiel's ass a bit of extra special attention, making sure to get all the come out. He ran a hand through Cas' wet hair, letting one arm snake around the angel's waist before placing a small kiss on his lips.
"I better get some sleep," Dean commented. "We still have a bit of a drive ahead of us to get to Bobby."
Castiel nodded, and the two soon climbed into bed, each of them holding each other close. Cas didn't know what tomorrow held in store for Dean, but would find God, and ask him one of the most important questions that was burning in his mind - if he could become human.
Part 2 Here!
Author: justanerdyangel
Characters/Pairing: Dean Winchester, Castiel, Bobby Singer, Chuck Shurley (God). Dean/Castiel
Rating: R
Word Count: 2,027
Summary: After the loss of Sam, Dean begs Castiel to stay with him. Eventually Castiel agrees, and goes to find Chuck (God) to make him human. Fifty-one years into the future, Castiel dies, and Dean has to go on living without him.
Spoilers: All of 5x22
Disclaimer: All Supernatural characters are owned by Kripke and the CW. If I owned them, well, let's just say I'd die a happy fangirl.
Author's Notes: Special thanks goes out to all of my friends listening to me complain about how I couldn't write smut and that I finally overcame that obstacle. More special thanks to my friend Abby who was so kind as to beta this for me. The beginning of this fic broke my heart. Click the link in the fic to listen to the song (via YouTube). This is my first time writing actual slash (as in porn-y slash), so be gentle? Feedback is welcome.
The final apocalypse was over, and Dean sat back on his haunches, bloody and broken in Stull Cemetery. He lost Sam, Bobby, and Castiel - the three people that kept him sane, grounded, and whole. When Cas came back and healed him and brought Bobby back to life, the lone Winchester brother felt the tiniest bit better.
After Cas and Bobby had left, Dean sat in the Impala, staring at the spot where Sam last stood before going into Lucifer's cage. He swallowed hard, and reached into the backseat of the car where he threw Sam's iPod adapter over a year ago. Pulling it forward, Dean looked at it, and shook his head. "Sammy," he said, running his thumb over the plastic fake cassette tape. Dean leaned over to the glove compartment, where Sam usually kept his iPod, and dug out the device, plugging it all in and cranking up the stereo. This was usually the part where Sam would try to turn the music down, having a little bit of respect for the dead. But he wasn't here now. Sam Winchester sacrificed himself for all of them, the human race. Dean turned on the iPod and flipped through it, to one of Sam's favorite songs. The song in question wasn't Dean's usual taste in music, but he listened to it, over and over again, letting the sobs that he was holding back wrack through him until nightfall.
Dean Winchester left the cemetery, and was just going to drive. Drive until he couldn't anymore, and then do it ten more times. He was somewhere along the outskirts of Omaha, driving up to see Bobby, just to check in on him, see how he was holding up, when a shape appeared. Dean caught it out of the corner of his eye, and turned his head slightly.
"What are you going to do now?" he asked, continuing the drive, but taking one hand off the wheel and letting his arm rest against the window.
Castiel was quick to reply. "Return to heaven, I suppose." The angel hadn't really thought about it that much, and didn't really know what other answer to give Dean.
A moment passed before Dean raised an eyebrow and looked at Cas for more than just a second, taking his eyes off the road. "Heaven?"
"With Michael in the cage, I'm sure it's total anarchy up there," Castiel said, staring straight at the road, as if Dean was blind and the angel was his eyes.
At that response, Dean pulled over to the side of the road and turned the engine off, letting the cars behind him pass the Impala by so he could get a good look at Castiel. "Cas..." Dean said, as the name trailed off, leaving a heavy silence in the air.
Castiel shifted in the car's passenger seat a little, and finally returned Dean's gaze. "Dean."
"Don't. Just...don't go."
A confused expression overcame the angel's face as he tilted his head. "I have to, Dean. It would be wrong of me not to."
The hunter looked down for a moment, green eyes unlocking from blue ones. "After everything that's happened, you're just willing to throw it away? You're just going to go back to heaven, and forget about me?" Dean asked, looking back up. He knew he was being selfish right now, but he needed someone to be there with him. He needed a shoulder to cry on, someone to continue hunting with, and someone to love. "Damn it, Cas, I can't do it alone. I just lost Sam. I can't-"
Dean's words were cut off when Castiel moved closer, putting an arm around him, holding this mortal man close, giving him some sort of comfort. "I know it hurts." Those words alone were enough for Dean as he practically clung to the angel, taking in everything about him, committing them to memory. The two sat for what seemed like hours in the car, and eventually, Dean fell asleep in Cas' arms.
~*~
The afternoon after the day Sam gave himself up and fell into the pit, Dean woke up to Castiel holding onto him. All of the events of the day before hit him, finally making the hunter realize that what had happened was real and not some nightmare.
"Cas?” Dean asked, making a feeble attempt to get out of the angel's arms.
"Yes, Dean?" Castiel replied.
"You can let go of me now."
Castiel unwrapped his arms from Dean's body, and Dean sat up, but never once took his eyes off of the angel.
"Are you still going to go back? Be the new sheriff in town?" the hunter questioned.
"I have to Dean. It's my duty to God," Cas answered.
Dean felt his heart drop a little, but nodded as he started up the car, continuing the drive up to Bobby's. "Stay with me until we get to Bobby's? After that, you can go back. It's a few more hours away."
Castiel opened his mouth to speak in protest, to tell Dean that he needed to go now, but shut it, and silently nodded. "I'll stay for you," he agreed.
The next couple of hours went by silently, Castiel staring at the road again and Dean not even in the mood to listen to any songs on the iPod or to surf the radio stations to find any good songs.
The Impala stopped in front of a roadside diner, and Dean got out, followed quickly by Cas. They went inside, and took a table in the far part of the diner, away from the crowd that was trickling in for the dinner rush. A waitress came and handed them menus, telling them the daily specials were a Philly steak sandwich and beef stew, and left them to decide on what to have.
Lunch came and went, both of them having a bacon cheeseburger with the works, and soon they were getting ready to go back out on the road. They drove again, and this time Dean turned on the stereo, knowing that the iPod was still connected, but he didn't care. He needed something - anything - to distract himself. Sam's song came through the speakers, and Castiel listened to it, though he normally tried to drown out the music.
~*~
Half an hour outside of Sioux Falls, forty-five minutes away from Bobby's, the car stopped again at a small motel and Dean got out, getting a room. He almost requested for one with two beds, but before he could open his mouth to ask for one, the desk clerk informed him that the only room they had left was one with a king bed. Dean turned around and looked at Cas sitting in the Impala, then back to the clerk. "That's fine."
Dean returned to the car and said nothing, pulling it in front of the room that was assigned to him and got out, this time the angel following suit. The hunter pulled out the key to the room and looked at Cas. "We'll go up tomorrow," Dean promised as he faked a yawn, and sat on the bed. Castiel did the same, and the two sat in silence for a few moments before Cas said anything.
"Dean, I can't go back," he started. "I've thought about what you said earlier, about me forgetting about you. I can't forget about you. I need to stay here, with you. You're too important to me. I'd rather give up everything just to be here."
The hunter looked over, a bit startled at what was just reveled to him. But Dean relaxed, and reached over to take Castiel's hand. "Cas, I..." Dean started as the angel finally turned his head to look at him. Dean never did finish that sentence, because as soon as Castiel faced him, he leaned in close, and pressed his lips against Castiel's.
Castiel was caught off guard and tensed up more than he normally was, but relaxed as Dean’s tongue snaked out and flicked against his lips. Cas let his instincts take over as he allowed Dean entrance, deepening the kiss as his own tongue seeked out Dean's mouth, and soon put his arms around Dean, one hand running through his hair and over his back, his fingertips gently playing with the hair on his neck. Dean moaned into Cas' mouth, and did the same that the angel did to him, finally wrapping his arms around Castiel, Cas rewarding him with an identical moan. Dean could feel his dick growing in his pants. He wanted - no, needed - Cas. Needed to taste him, be with him, love him. Dean pulled away for a moment, rather abruptly after five minutes them playing tonsil hockey, and Castiel let go of Dean.
Dean looked at Cas, his face an inch away from the angel's, their eyes locking, neither one blinking or looking away, almost as if they were looking into one another's soul. "I need you," Dean said in a low voice, almost as a growl. "Now." With those words, Dean practically tore the trench coat off of Cas, and pushed him further onto the bed to straddle his hips. Dean removed Cas' tie, followed by the ripping off of the shirt and undoing the belt, sliding the khakis down the angel's body. The hunter removed his own shirt, and went to undo his jeans, watching as Castiel's chest moved up and down slowly before laying eyes on the enlarged cock that Cas possessed, making his own ache in anticipation.
Their lips smashed together again, this time Castiel allowing Dean's tongue access to his mouth before Dean even had the chance to flick his tongue against those lips. Tongues danced among the other's mouth, and Dean pulled Cas' legs apart, hoisting them up on his shoulders. He lined himself up with the hole between the two globes of flesh, and pushed in gently with Cas moaning in Dean's mouth.
"God, you're so tight," Dean commented in a low growl. The angel nodded a little, as Dean continued to push into Cas' hole until he reached the hilt. Dean knew that he wasn't going to be able to last long, not with how tight Castiel's ass was. Dean broke their kiss again, leaving a trail of kisses along the angel's neck and chest, licking, sucking, and biting at each nipple, then returning to the feverishly passionate kissing. Dean took Castiel's pulsating cock into his hand, and began moving his fist up and down it, going at the same rhythm that his dick was in Cas' ass.
Ten minutes later, Dean started going harder, faster than he ever did in his life, keeping the same pace as his hand job that he was giving to his guardian angel. His face was flushed pink, and the tiniest glimmer of sweat started forming at his brow. Cas' breathing was short and heavy, and wasn't going to be able to last much longer. Both of them could feel their orgasms building and after a few more minutes, Dean lost all of his control. "Fuck, Cas. I'm going to come!"
Castiel moaned Dean's name over and over again loudly, letting his own orgasm sweep over him, the angel's come hitting both of them on the chest. That was more than enough for Dean, and soon was burying his dick into Cas' ass, emptying himself.
~*~
The hunter and his angel showered together, each taking turns washing and drying the other off. Dean paid Castiel's ass a bit of extra special attention, making sure to get all the come out. He ran a hand through Cas' wet hair, letting one arm snake around the angel's waist before placing a small kiss on his lips.
"I better get some sleep," Dean commented. "We still have a bit of a drive ahead of us to get to Bobby."
Castiel nodded, and the two soon climbed into bed, each of them holding each other close. Cas didn't know what tomorrow held in store for Dean, but would find God, and ask him one of the most important questions that was burning in his mind - if he could become human.
Part 2 Here!