my bladder is full

[oliviaslies]

i have to piss and i cant seem to get out of the computer chair. i would love a cigarette and i would love a joint. i would love to fucking go to sleep and no wake up. i wish i could stop eating forever and never have to look at food again. id be the most beautiful girl in the world, maybe you all could love me. maybe i could love me.

Comments

[maybeboston]

if you never ate you would be super skinny to a point that you'd look like a skeleton and then you'll look scary.

we all love you. and everyone loves a healthy looking girl. ;)

[oliviaslies]

but what do i do when i can't satisfy myself...i cant live up to my own expectations..why is that? i will never be perfect enough for my soul.

[maybeboston]

hmm, take up a hobby. you'll find something you're really good at. help other people. do something that will help make you forget about yourself for awhile. find a great support group. find a good comunity service group.

or just stay on LJ, type your feelings out, share them, and let us help you.

and everyone sets up such high expectations for themselves. you know what i say? forget the expectations (for now).

[oliviaslies]

wow you sound so smart...have you gone through a depression before? because you sound like you know alot of what youre talking about...if so thats awesome that you got through it...one day i want to be a psychologist so i want to get all this self esteem stuff underway as quickly as i can...even though i know eating disorders dont go away overnight..

[waif_like_me]

don't say such harsh things. we're all here to love and support you. it's not going to be easy, but we're in this together. :)

[oliviaslies]

you're probably right...im religious and have the mouth of a sailor. =[

[waif_like_me]

hey, it happens lol. chin up.

[oliviaslies]

haha it's up. im going to see my psychiatrist in cleveland today so hopefully she will up my dosageo f prozac i think ill feel better!!