i've been watching television almost non-stop for the last two days.
[in my defense, i've had a really bad cold, and have spent the last 4 months in a state of sleep deprivation.]
i'm almost completely sick of the tv, which is the desired effect.

...but on the down side, i've also re-discovered my pension for all things sappy.

por ejemplo:
i watched ( Read more... )

i know what it's like to have your heart
single-handedly
damaged, broken,
mangled, maimed,
and utterly destroyed
by an oblivious boy.

i had several conversations tonight that would cause me to rehash this exhausted topic.

((the commentary has been brought to you by the "i hate sleep" counsel, reminding you to avoid REM cycles like the plague.))

*********** ( Read more... )

why am i such a bad listener -
and only from the religious end,
when i actually solicit the advice?

(i've got to stop this,
or i'll get d-r-o-p-p-e-d.)

i had a really interesting and horrible conversation with someone the other night.
my mind is reeling over everything i said;
and yet again, i'm faced with the thought that this isn't over.
i've gone back to the little milestones - 
the days when i reach 5:30pm and say to myself, 
"i haven't thought about you at all today."

and since this is regarding a ( Read more... )

the last few days have been interesting (at best), and i've found myself wondering how i'll make it through the next two and a half years without my own apartment.
(those two thoughts are somewhat independent of each other, but not really.)

let's make the half-hearted/fully chronological list:
tuesday morning: during a talk with the bishop, my name ( Read more... )

struck down with the physical woes of being a femme fatale, 
i divided my pre-dinner day between sleep, progress (updating, paying), and deep thought.

i got this great publication at the museum of modern art in new york this weekend, 
and found the inside to be worth display space on my wall above my bed. it reads:
Is life worth living 
without risk, ( Read more... )

what i love about idealists is that, contrary to popular belief, their heads aren't "up in the clouds", but rather firmly attached to their necks and bodies. the difference is that they experience life completely differently than the realists. reality, to an idealist, is based upon the experience of connecting all five senses, which leads him/her ( Read more... )

10 YEARS AGO:
1. clinton was in office.
2. i was a people-pleaser, self-depricating, and awkward.
3. my favourite show was "daria".
4. "much music" was playing its canadian rock on cleveland tv sets.
5. pluto was busy being a planet.

5 YEARS AGO:
1. edit: i got the nickname P$, and have been cooler ever since.2. my badass roommate was unknowingly ( Read more... )

i think i'm trying to justify my decision to not go to the police.
i had his name, location, everything.

had i only done things differently.
(ellipsis.)

had i only stayed awake to talk to the officer at the hospital,
or not acted nonchalant when leaving the house,
or not ignored every gut feeling i had about this guy,
or not ignored every gut feeling i ( Read more... )

i started on a paper that's due in 45 minutes. i did the research (thank you, wikipedia), i asked around for structure recommendations; i even got as far as writing my name, class, and professor's name on the title page. on a roll. yes.

but i stopped at the date.
(date. i haven't been on one of those in a long time. what happened to the ballsy ( Read more... )