i'm leaving in 9.25 hours for LA.
not like i've been counting...

i'll tell you stories when i get back.
pray for me, please.
you KNOW how i get when i'm nervous.

i can't stop talking about it, though there's nothing else to say.
i'm going to los angeles in 3 days; and, against all of my procrastinatory habits, i've actually begun packing.
i like having something to look forward to; and despite the fact that i see no romantic relationship coming from this, visiting doug seems as good a thing as any to ( Read more... )

I go through mindset waves when singledom is a torturous, nauseating state of being in which I can think about nothing else besides how horrible and undesirable I am.

On a different wavelength, which happens to be my current place, I float through my days with an arms-length approach to my gendered opposites, acknowledging facts (appearances, ( Read more... )

A few days ago, I bit the bullet and paid off my hospital bill in full [credit cards: making procrastination possible!]. And after I hung up with the collections lady, I took a giant sharpie, wrote "PD IN FULL, 30 JANUARY 2007" on the bill, and stared at it with the eyes of a pre-schooler at a live Telly Tubbies show. I realized: it took nine ( Read more... )

I fell through on a project.
I forgot how completely unreliable I can be,
but I forgot about a marketing assignment for a big magazine,
and it was due a few hours ago.

I don't feel like groveling for my job.
I don't miss that.
I don't miss people saying, "Well, you're lucky to work for us."
Because, quite frankly, I'm a decent person to have on any team.

( Read more... )

i write this all of the time, but i think i need to write it more:

i need to write more.

yes, i'm fully aware that my last posting was just a ball of estrogen-fed jealousy.
i'm over it.
i wrote him on the MS to congratulate, and he wrote back.
we're doing what i like to call "communicating".
yes yes. quite.

i have early chapel and classes tomorrow.
( Read more... )

a kid i went to grade school with has published a book of poetry, prose, and short stories, all on the topic of everyone's favourite common denominator: cleveland.

mind you, this kid is a real asshole. 
i knew him back when he had a curly 'fro and glasses, a ridiculously low level of tact and a pension for fat jokes.
he made fun of me once for going ( Read more... )

i overheard a conversation today 
confirming the fears of my previous entry.

and i thought:
the interesting part of my position as a single lady is that it is a long-standing, unbroken role.

i think i'm being typecast, 
which is ridiculous and completely unfair.

and here's a funny story: 
every time i tell myself that i've had enough, 
that i'm tired of ( Read more... )

• i've got the beginnings of a[nother] cold. i've felt bizarre all day, like i would pass out. i get waves of exhaustion and i start crying. it's quite obnoxious, actually.
• i've got the beginnings of a [different] crush. normally, here's where i'd insert details of "adorable-ness" or "sweetness" or "Christian-ness"; but for this one, i'd rather keep ( Read more... )

Tiki is curled up next to me right now, licking and scratching herself something fierce.
I never realized it before, but I really enjoy having a dog.
I guess I just need someone to love,
and the only viable option at the moment
is an oversized black-coated puppy
with a penchant for punching me in the uterus
and licking my feet.

My new year has been ( Read more... )