MONKEYS and CHICKENS

[omorashi]

In other news, while urinating in an SFSU bathroom stall, I noticed that nestled on the floor underneath the toilet was a foil-backed top of a supermarket-baked chicken roaster container. It looked fresh, with globs of bright orange grease still intact. It’s been a long time since I ate one of those, but I remember well how succulent - how

Comments

[amity212]

That's way too many bathroom-related incidents for one person to have.

I think people eating in public restrooms isn't all that uncommon.

The Romanian ice skating kid I was telling you about the other night spends an inordinate amount of time in the bathroom at the clinic. Once he's gone, an inspection of the kitchen will find everyone's lunches missing. His mother doesn't allow him to have anything sugary or fatty (presumably so he can remain svelte in his little velvet pants), and I suspect he's developed an eating disorder.

The goings on in women's bathrooms aren't nearly as interesting. All the graffiti is of the "CRYSTAL LOVES MIKE 4-EVA" and "I FUCKED KELLEY'S BOYFRIEND LAST NIGHT" type. There isn't a lot of fecal matter lying around, but you do see the occasional soiled pantiliner. ;/

[omorashi]

It would not surprise me to learn that he had disturbances. How old was he when he was rescued from the orphanage?

And what is he doing at the clinic?

[amity212]

I think he was 2 when his parents and grandparents were killed in a car accident. The woman who adopted him was a friend of the family, and she said that when she went to Romania to collect him, he was being kept in a pen, as was his younger sister. They had been so starved that he was crying and begging for his sister to be fed so she wouldn't die.

He's a skating prodgy here from Alaska to train with some famous coach for a national competition this month, and he has shin splints or something. He comes in the clinic twice a day to get taped up before he practices.

Everyone at the clinic is complete charmed by him, in spite of the food thieving. He calls me his guppy or his munchkin, even thought I am twice his size. :D

[amity212]

http://www.usfsa.org/events_results/results/200203/reg-nwpac/intmen-free.htm

That's him there! At #1!!!

hmm, its not as odd as some things but..

[burgar]

I think the most recent bizarre bathroom story I have takes place in the most wretched setting possible, a Denny's restroom. I went in to the stall to relieve a little tension in the form of urination only to find a note scrawled in menstrual blood advising, all in search of a good time to call crystal at 224-9540. I wrote down the number but I never called. I just didn't want a good time that badly I suppose.

Re: hmm, its not as odd as some things but..

[omorashi]

Wow, what a coincidence. I happen to be in search of a good time!

So, what was that area code?

Re: hmm, its not as odd as some things but..

[burgar]

Why its right in the 937 area code. But I would question how good a time someone named crystal could provide. Its kind of a lame-o name.

Re: hmm, its not as odd as some things but..

[omorashi]

But -- but I LOVE her!

[pootski]

At first, I thought this was written by Randomgirl, who goes to a college in CA. It wasn't until I thought "She's sounding strikingly like Omorashi today" that I noticed the user pic. Derf.

I'm sure I've shared my Value City bathroom stories. Every night at closing...EVERY NIGHT...there was fecal matter all over the women's bathroom. Once, I was in a stall when a large woman next to me had diarhea running down her legs, into her shoes. But elementary school bathrooms are pretty harmless - kids just don't flush the toilet. Like, ever.

[omorashi]

Heavens to Betsy. That anecdote just begs too many questions. I don't even know where to start!

Also, not flushing the toilet: that's standard fare in the men's room. Every men's room pretty much resembles an elementary school bathroom. Unflushed toilets and pee on the toilet seat are a given. It all confirms my theory that, deep down inside, most people lack a conscience. In the pantsless privacy of one's own stall we're all urban mercenaries.

[cotn_cndy_hamer]

all of this is just So wrong in So many ways.

i've had a few scary scenes in denny's bathrooms. bums and shit-streaked walls and so forth.

i suppose karma really Does exist!

*!down with denny's!*

[omorashi]

What you have documented is a form of Gandhi's little-known credo, "fecal resistance."