i miss everything.

humiliated.
siigh.
make it better?

what did i doooooooooooooooooo?

i'd do it again.

done and done.
now what?

here's to a change of pace, by whatever means.

it's not complete anymore.
i dont know.
it just isn't.

excite me, please.

my cell phone fell in the couch. i can't get it out.
christmas tree smells, and twelve hour work days.
red stuffy noses :\
super sweet sixteen.
christmas party. and puppies!!
ugh work.

i'm almost done with all of my christmas shopping. we're buying our tree soon. it's not so bad being a grown up.i miss my mom more than ever.i'm getting sick.i miss my boyfriend.i'm ready to paint my kitchen red.it's unreal how happy i am, how happy we are. i'm going to watch recorded episodes of sex and the city on my dvr.
siiiigh.

Christmas is coming, i'm excited.
i'm happy.
i have a future.
i'm not a failureeeeeeee.
i love my apartment.
and i love my life.

i'm lame.

another mistake. i feel bad. not bad enough. vacant eyes. birthday cake. i hate you. you you youoyouououoi. i'm selfish HAHEFAKHAHAHA. yes. diet coke. mile runs. back to three showers a day. i always feel dirty. fake fake. fair is fair. right? wishful thinking. roseanne. fuckfuckfuck you. sleep forever.