"I'm still here"? Haha, I think I assigned the same title to the photo album I organized of the shots I took during my sky-diving experience. Although the phrase is meant very differently in the two applications ( Read more... )

With cunning, he approached me at my six. I knew his game as he soared through the galaxies of his imagination. The sidewalk we traveled on was not a sidewalk, but a raceway, and he was in first place. His Razor Kick scooter was a space ship. A motorcycle. A fierce horse. And I was his villain to conquer. His prey to apprehend. His elder to ( Read more... )

I feel a little better. I have gained a few pounds, finally, and am back to a more familiar weight. I sleep better and eat more. I love better and read more. I am, however discovering a new facet of myself to which I administer a grate amount of distaste. I am becoming more and more scared of speaking in front of great numbers of people. At ( Read more... )

I'm still somewhat lost. We've talked. Oh, we've talked. We've done a lot of learning lately and a lot of missing each other. Now that she's reached closure with this shapeless guise, she's apparently available emotionally for me. We can try again, this time at full volume. I'm happy. I said I would be here for her; that I would forgive her ( Read more... )

Like a sailor who's lost his legs, I'm trying to find balance. Being at my parent's place helps. Something I've realized is that the only way I can see possible to get over her quickly is to hate her. To focus on all of the bad things, and there were many, and try to convince myself that she wronged me. I know that I can rebound quickly in this way ( Read more... )

I'm not ready to be numb yet. I don't want to be. I'm scared of it. I still feel immensely for her. Part of what makes me so resilient and independent is my ability to chalk things off apathetically and turn my back to the fact that they were ever real. I'm not ready to do that. She IS real ( Read more... )

It was the hardest thing I had ever had to do, to leave her room tonight. To hear her sobs from across the apartment. From across two dainty walls and probably a blanket or two ( Read more... )

Things turned around pretty significantly after our talk on Sunday. The talk was pretty rough. I was pretty rough. I said only things that really needed to be said, but I had no regard for the way my comments would make her feel. While the content of the conversation was necessary, the style and the presentation was not ( Read more... )

If a wall was what we were hitting before in our sex life, now we're hitting an open door. Or a window. Or a door with a window. One that leads to a luscious open garden where there are no walls. We're breaking it all down. I'm not too sure what's changed. If anything, she just seems to be more comfortable around me in general. We have also ( Read more... )

I feel very alarmed. I could have done without that whole future planning reality check episode. I stayed away from relationships for very specific reasons, the biggest being that I can't stand hurting other people. This time I told myself that that is just what relationships are, opening yourself up for something great; the alternative of that ( Read more... )