I've found the motivation I need to be successful at work. I've found my passion again and my strength. Thank you Jesus for your presence and the strength you give me as well as the clarity.

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I always thought I'd get to the point where I'd have no regrets and I could walk away easily. The thing I came across today while stuck inside my head was that time will never come. I'm never going to feel like I've done everything I can to make this relationship work. I'm never going to feel like I've done my best. And at this point I have to ( Read more... )

After I went to my moms last night I got up and I was just so out of it. I barely slept, I haven't really eaten all day .... This is aall bothering me to no end. The way will has turned everything around on me. He says he won't be treated like this.. But he will treat me any way he damn well pleases. Before I left earlier he started telling me ( Read more... )

Me:This is not ok
W:Calm down.
Me:Complete disrespect. Itd be different if you valued my feelings enough to let me know. But no, you're drinking and alone with a girl in our house. I'm disgusted.
W:Joelle. Shut up. I'm not hearing this bullshit from you. Stop texting me I'm done responding.
Me:Are you serious?! How can you treat me like this? ( Read more... )

I do at this point gets a bad reaction. Kenji tries to tell daddy jack won't stop hitting him and I get yelled at for telling kenj to hit him back and not let jack bug him. I see how I could be acting stupid in some ways. Like every morning I try to make bacon I end up burning some. I've got two kids hanging on me, sandwiches I'm making and the ( Read more... )

I can't shake this feeling of emptiness. I was wondering the other day if wills new attitude was just him over looking all the things about me he really dislikes. He was so sweet and compassionate for about a week. He came home one night and I had left dishes in the sink and he told me the house looked good. He could see the work I was putting in ( Read more... )

I've never thought a rainbow held much significance. They are part of a fleeting moment after a storm. The sun comes out and dries up the earth and we continue on. Most often I see them as I'm moving, from one destination to the next. They may last longer than a moment, but they only touch me for an instant. So I remember that a double rainbow ( Read more... )

Last night will and I spoke briefly of some things. He basically asked me to try to understand him. He wrote on the white board, learn who you are and hate yourself. He said when I understand that's what he's done I'll be able to act accordingly. He said this morning that it'd be easier to have intimacy if I'd laugh at his jokes. It's Like I'm ( Read more... )

I desperately tried to connect to will. I opened myself up to him and realized the barrier I had placed between us. I took into consideration everything he said he needed from me and I prayed and changed everything about myself I could. I held on to my faith until two nights ago we got into a fight. I've been sick for almost a week. But I've been ( Read more... )

If I don't find someone that can help me find ways to connect to will I'm going to lose him forever

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.