What About The Mens?

[onceupon]

And another thing.

So, a little while ago, an online friend posted about how, even as a father and home-owner, and married person, he doesn’t feel like a man. He was kind of nostalgic for the rituals of manhood, some ideal of manliness that would give a security of identity. And while many people sympathized, my problem (and the problem many other

Comments

[etcet]

Masculinity is, or at least ought to be, the confidence and surety in one's own competence to be as self-sufficient as possible. Maybe I'm just defining "maturity" there. My brain is difficult to distinguish from fluffy, microwaved dogshit today, however.

[onceupon]

I tend towards defining adulthood myself, as well. Like, that's where all of my imposter syndrome really starts kicking in. HOW AM I A RESPONSIBLE ADULT WHUT???

But I also don't want to dismiss the concept out of hand because there ARE so many people for whom it is still resonant.

[etcet]

I have become very comfortable with the fact that, while I give off many of the vibes of "responsible adult" (home ownership, bills paid, job, etc), I know that I'm the same goofy motherfucker under it all. I am a finely-blended goofy coating on an iron core of responsibility, neither of which give two flying fucks what society thinks I ought to be, or be doing.

[wlotus]

I like this post a lot.

[mellifluous_ink]

I look forward to the day when people can realise gender is just a toy, like make up.

[lizs18]

Have I told you lately that I love you?

Have I told you, there is no one else above you?* (Which I of course mean in a non-hiearchical non-oppressive way)

[popfiend]

I have never fit in with the prescribe notions of masculinity.

I express my feelings and affections openly. I'm emotionally available. I HUG and show affection easily.

I'm neither athletic nor macho.

And while I don't fit in with the stereotypical picture of a guy and while I will sometimes be self-deprecating about it, I am really secure in my personhood, which means I am fine with my manhood.

I was going to make a statement about how that sounds dirtier than I intended, but no matter how you interpret it...it's true. So I'm leaving it just that way.