I posted about a year ago in here Oct. 6th 2006 I think. So little has changed really. In it's essence nothing has really changed Sean was right. I have been really selfish, honestly. But, this may sound odd, but can you blame me? I had love and lost it? I think I internalized insecurity, which is bad.

I feel different. I feel, emancipated, vindicated, freed. It is nice. I feel in control, though, I have the desire to experience. I feel like hanging out with Kyle. I feel like I could do anything and handle the natural consequences. I sort of feel in a sense like I've exposed my innermost self to vulnerability and after having been thoroughly ( Read more... )

There is nothing fair in this world ( Read more... )

I took advice. Although, maybe it helped I can't tell. They told me I should vent, that if I felt a certain way about someone I should tell them and get pissed. I thought about what exactly I was mad about, what certain people have done, and stuff, trying to think of why exactly I'd be mad about whatever. I've just vented to myself though. I can ( Read more... )

I'm forced to hold my breathe about what I think, lest I risk burning all material bridges. I can't point out how much of a hypocrite you are, how illogical, irrational, selfish and whatever else you are because I still think that the benefit I recieve now, in exchange for my self respect, might cost more than denying my dignity. For with a lie, a ( Read more... )

I thought I'd write in here just cause I posted exactly a year ago here about something or other. I'm hungry. I kinda of don't care about what I sound like in here sometimes. If I'm on the look out I can never say much of anything meaningful. If all my speechhas to be edited to be PC I end up talking about trash, although in convos I can more ( Read more... )

I'm lame. According to dominant ideology I would be considered lame. I never go out on the weekends. Save a few parties, sometimes. I felt left out when Julie, Sam, Lisa and Alex were all talking about going to the "Royal Ball". I didn't try out for rose court because my parents have been so busy and have been so angry whenever I ask anything of ( Read more... )

I need God in my life ( Read more... )

When you deliberatley lie any say "Holy shit! I fucking got something in my eye!!!" Why am I not supposed to believe you? Honestly alot of the time it seems like you don't have emotions, and me being the emotional person that I am, am really affected and feel that I can never express my emotions cause you get pissed. And because of this I have to ( Read more... )

People aren't trust worthy. I wish I could tell you how I felt. But I'm a pussy I guess.