If the easy way out wasn't so easy you'd be a lot further then you are. But then again, would it have been worth the effort? There's really no way of telling what that alternate universe holds.

Never in my life did I think I would have allowed myself to work in such a disorderly place. It's as if I work with all the most angry people imaginable. Everyone is constantly skying on one another trying to get them into trouble so they themselves can look like some sort of saint, when in fact, it's all jsut a race to do the least amound of work ( Read more... )

i love livejournal. its a wonderful place to rant about hating life and then sometimes its a wonderful place to just look around and get happy cuz u see the optimistic peoples thoughts and not just your own =)

i will write in my paper journal. I wish i could tell someone all the things im thinking and how sad i am but i cant and if i did i doubt anyone would know how or even care enough to make me feel better.

all i ever hear is yelling and dissapointment. Im not even gona try anymore.

8 more days until my birthday. Another year down the drain. I'll never do anything that's really worth living for. Granted a lot of people probably wont but I thought I had potential. People believed in me, I believed in me, But i don't anymore. I have other things to do now though. Maybe they will grow up to do what I wouldn't.

sex doesnt make you sexy.

presentation and drive do.

was fair. Had kind of a bad start but as good as i could have hoped for considering the circumstance. I watched some t.v. Im at red devil now picking up my sisters family's dinner and then im gonna go eat and go home and call it an early night ( Read more... )

life is wearing me down. all it ever consists of is fighting and hating. Its never going to stop either and im stuck. maybe next year after i have this baby ill go back to work and have a great life again where i only have to hate my job and not everything around me.

the last 6 days in a row worked til at least 2am
today 12-8pm
sat 4-12mid
sun 5-2am
mon 6-2am
tue 6-2am
wed 6-2am

I have one night off and NO full days off in 12 streight days.

tonight is that night...
and im alone at home right now.
I dont get it.

I hate the way I feel.

Something is going to have to change I guess.

I hate where I live. I need a car so I can move. not far but at least next door or something. I give my sister so much money and watch her kids almost every day and give her money and hire her a baby sitter and barely eat any of the food that I contribute like half the money to buy even tho there is 5 people eating the food. I'd be living such an ( Read more... )