I've been jumping around from journal to journal today, going from one person's friend to another to another until I'm way out in someone elses journal that lives God knows where ( Read more... )

I work in an animal testing lab as a janitor. Today I found the dump pile where they toss out all the animals that can't quite make the cut. I took a bunch of them and am going to package them up for Easter presents this year. Maybe that will teach them all the hardships of being a guy with only one arm ( Read more... )

One time I got a girl pregnant. When I found out, I gave her a swift kick to the stomach to teach her that she has no right bearing my children without my permission first ( Read more... )

People who cry suck. I usually end up grinding my fist into their face while introducing them to the gravel.

Like this guy

http://mylifesketch.livejournal.com/

BOO HOO

People need to stop comparing me to that wussy One Armed Jim. I introduced him to my good fist and now he doesn't talk smack about anything.

JERKS.

http://onearmedjim.livejournal.com/

I'll fight him with my good arm!