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    He grabs her by the arms from behind, pinning them to her sides, unable to move her elbows.  Her fingers and wrist are trying to move but with no elbow to bend, it's useless.  Falling to the floor on her knees a small scream escapes her terrified mouth.  Did he really just knee me in the back?  Am I really not able to do a thing, she wonders.  ( Read more... )

it's soothing...


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I have had the best tears.  I've cried, I've felt, I've released...and I'm happy!  It's sooo nice to have someone to share these things with.  Even if I think I'm being a bother...even if I worry that I'm not enough or that I'm stupid for caring...lol  I feel really pretty with him, I feel like he appreciates my smile...my laugh.  My eyes staring, ( Read more... )

I think I seriously could fall, If I'm not already falling.  I haven't felt this special or cared for in so long.  An hour is not far, I mean, look how much I used to drive for Kevin.  It's like, when you're not looking for something really...it smacks you in the face.  It's a good thing.  It's a very good thing to to feel this way.  I don't want ( Read more... )

Why does he have to be so nice?  Why does he have to be so sweet?  Why does he have to be the one that makes me laugh and smile when things make me want to cry?  Why does he text and call and write...why does he have to live away?  Why do I have to care?  Why do I have to wonder what he is thinking, search his eyes, and lie in his arms like if it ( Read more... )

    Ok, that list I made before?  Yea.  Started it.  I ended up realizing I wanted every piece of clothing, etc washed.  It was really a load or two of laundry, now it's me seriously trying to wash anything and everything.  It's obsessive.  It's ok, it's making things "cleaner."  Now if only I would get around to vaccuming...I hate it.  HATE.

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    Well not much has happened today.  I made a huge list of things I need to do and yet, have I done it?  No, of course not.  I'm good at failing my own expectations.  I need to get it done by this weekend.  I don't want to screw up that badly.  Anyway...

Trouble with the windows.  My protectors might have to come down because of stupid fucking ( Read more... )

I'm not sure I want to be saying this but I am falling.  Not in a heavy, scary way.  It's just a nice slow lean back and fall...I feel content.  Even with the mess of life and everything else.

I say the 'gays" tonight and I haven't had so much fun in awhile.  I realized I'm lonely here without my friends living close by.  I want to move.  I do.  I'm ( Read more... )