I have grown accustomed to falling asleep to the sound of whirring drives. Clavier, the desktop, is poorly-assembled and probably makes more noise than it should. I keep the laptop on my bed sometimes now. The keyboard is back in place of the desk I used so much last year. I tried to remember how to play one of the songs I used to know, today. It ( Read more... )

todo_always.txt:

- do not sleep past noon
- open the blinds before getting on the computer
- always look nice when going out
- make eye contact while talking and listening
- drink a glass of water for every meal

It's easier to do the little things. Make sure my room is clean before I go out. Put my clothes away when I take them off. Do something ( Read more... )

In spring of 2008, I dumped my first boyfriend and it was a mess. He was a meteorite, a ball of wreckage consumed by flame. My best friend, my future lover, he was the sun. And I was cold. It took me half a year to stop feeling like some dull thing.

I am not dull or dulled, but that's still a far cry from luminous.

he cast a monolith upon the grass ( Read more... )

 I have been repulsed by my own behavior. There is no productivity in the things I do or think about, so what to fill the gap with?

Well.

Now I remember why I hid this. It really is that bad. I've been considering often lately how only three years ago I was fifteen -- and here, it's been one year, a little more. Part of adulthood, I think, is a certain intellectual maturity -- not a cementing of development (necessarily), but of style and affect. Within the next few years I will be ( Read more... )

...and I've decided to pull the plug on this. Normally I'd leave it out there for all eternity, but if I'm going to have to keep the username, I don't want it tainted with the shit in here hanging out for everyone to see. It's not erased, just locked behind a custom friendgroup ( Read more... )

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