I feel so overwhelmingly hopeless... and helpless. I really have nobody to blame but myself, but at the same time, I feel like I'm really trying to keep myself from feeling like this and I'm really trying to go forward and to succeed on something. I really wish I was working on designs and a portfolio, but once I get to feeling so depressed I ( Read more... )

My music collection has really been stagnating ( Read more... )

I somehow volunteered to cover 8-10 hours of shifts today. That wouldn't be that big of a deal, I mean most people work 8-10 hours per day, but for one I don't get any breaks. And two, I'll be driving in circle ( Read more... )

"All the other planets are either dead or out of reach.
And it feels like a famine, and I feel so afraid.


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See.

See?

I see. I see everything. If I look forward, I see what is in front of me, if I turn around, I see what is behind me. I see everything that I can see. I don't know what I can't see. I don't know what's missing. I can't see what's missing.


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It's my birthday today ( Read more... )

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Let's face it, I'm not really living life. I'm in a perpetual state of waiting for life to happen. When has life really happened? I remember being alive sometimes, like when went on road trips to funky little towns with new friends and I took photos of places that I'd never seen before. Or when I spent a summer afternoon in a playground with my ( Read more... )

Oh shit.

I found myself looking at a couple photos of Spencer (completely accidentally, I swear. I was trying to organize my absurd Flickr account and stuff...) and then I found myself smiling because I realized, again, just how much I love him, so wholly and completely. And then I realized that's a bad thing now ( Read more... )

I took Kane to Blue Mountain and took a bunch of photos. Most of them aren't very interesting, but maybe I'll just use that as an excuse to lay on the Photoshop a little excessively. I'll make them all weird and stupid and low-fi and call them 'artistic'. Then I'll probably also read some Count of Monte Cristo and maybe eventually make a real ( Read more... )