This was me last night on nightquill... talking to (Older) Ashley ( Read more... )

I went to dinner at Golden Corral, then to church. Music practice was happening and I just needed somewhere to go to talk to God. What better place than the house of God right? Exactly ( Read more... )

Forgive me for I have sinned, in what I have done and what I have failed to do. Sin is the most pungent stench ever known to man. It reeks worse than a dead carcus smothered in rotten eggs and stuffed with sulfer, decaying in the desert sun like a pathetic free-for-all fry. It is more disgusting than a carpet crapped on a million times over, laden ( Read more... )

I just watched a movie on TV, Desert Bloom. It was pretty good actually. An older movie, with a lot to it. It is about a girl in Nevada who has an alcoholic stepfather. The stepfather was in a war and is emotionally scarred by his experience. He is abusive, but turns it around. It isn't all mushy either. And it also has the plotline of the military ( Read more... )

God created the Earth and the animals and the seas and the skye. He created two human beings... Eve and Jane, who were to live together in harmony and breed love and lust in a beautiful garden... ::insert scratched record sound here:: Hold up! That's not how the story goes! God made Adam and Eve, who's Jane? Good question. Jane is the creation of ( Read more... )

I called work. I am scheduled today. It is only four hours, but hearing "you are working 5 to 9 tonight" was like fingernails on a chalkboard. I want to cry and scream. I'm not as sick today, just... broken. I feel broken. I suppose now God is suppose to come sweep me up and piece me back together ( Read more... )

I went to Bible study tonight. Though we didn't get around to the Bible tonight, I felt that God said "go" there for a reason. I met up with Megan, a girl I knew from highschool, who is still in highschool. The ways God is transforming her life is amazing. I was just... speechless. She still has her child-like ways though, as she let show saying ( Read more... )

Three books came into today from Amazon.com... one is for my brother, How To Live With A Rottweiler. It is very good and informative. I've gotten a third through it already. I'm teaching Hailey to lay and stay. She is doing well. We are almost done setting up the kennel run outback. It is a heavy duty 7 and a half by 13 feet fenced area, 6 feet ( Read more... )

Alright so I've chilled out just a bit. It is hard to be sane when your head is caving in, or so it seems. And because of my other meds I cannot take Nightquill... that wonderful, disgusting medicine that knocks you out... out of my reach... not an option. Oh God help me before I slip back into self-oppression ( Read more... )

I am still sick. Come on now! This is uncalled for suffering. I blame my brother. He was sick. I am getting very angry. I can't read when I'm sick, I wouldn't comprehend. I'm too preoccupied trying to feel ok that praying pisses me off. I know any normal person would just deal but this kind of crap makes me want to go out of control... like, in a ( Read more... )