For whatever reason, tonight I remembered this thing existed, and I wanted to check and see if my posts on here were private or not, and it appears a large portion of them are not in fact private, and the process to make them private is very tedious. So since I wholeheartedly recognize the cringe factor of the contents that herein reside, I thought ( Read more... )

Last night I Learned a great deal. I want to catalogue the experience, without cheapening it and turning it into lustful boyhood pride. But I had my first sort of sexual relationship with a woman. I'm still a bit baffled as well. I think what shocks me most is how little the experience has changed anything. I mean don't get me wrong I'm happy it ( Read more... )

I'm just thinking about all the girls I've ever had crushes on over the years. All the embarrassing botched attempts and heartbreaking denials. One of the few girls I've ever actually kissed, wished me a happy birthday on facebook today. She was on my murder trial, Juror #1. She isn't very smart, or pretty, but she was the only person even remotely ( Read more... )

you ever have a girl come up to you in a dream and engage you in a conversation. And then have a dream where you are back in the same area and see her, and go up to say hello, and she snubs you and starts talking to the people you are with. Well... that's a shitty dream charecter. I think I'll try and leave her out of the next one.

Today is awful. Just fucking awful. I don't know why, but it is. I woke up with the awfulness in my belly, and it spread from there. A vague sense of dread, anger, and malaise. I feel sick, and weak, and as though the weight of the world is crushing in upon me. My chest is a hollowed chasm, unable to support the weight as my ribs crack one at a ( Read more... )

Sometimes my sorrow is as thick as syrup in my throat... it sticks to my insides and makes them sluggish and contorted. The beauty of one photograph it seems has the ability to rip my guts out and spew out at my feet. I think I was finally forgetting what she looked like, and then I see that picture, that smile, as though there were a lemon in her ( Read more... )

AHHHHHHHH I feel all AHHHHHHHHHH right now

I hate when I put myself in one of those postions where I am forced to make a decision even though it isn't the right time or way. I'm being vague, but basically I was talking to this girl who I had a crush on like 3 years ago, and then that just kind of fizzled away, but within the last year on facebook it's started to kind of pick up again. Well ( Read more... )

Why are you back in my dreams! Be gone I say! Be gone! I can't take any more of your torment, it feels like internal bleeding, slowly filling my body with sludgy dark blood and inevitably filling my lungs. I knew I would drown at sea.

Just when I'm starting to pull myself out of the dumps I fall right back in... typical.