So much has changed for me in the past year. I can't really believe I'm where I am now. Although it seems that I'm constantly wondering how I ended up where I am. It seems like I just make random turns in this game of life. One thing I have to give myself credit for is that it seems like I keep on arriving at destinations that make me generally ( Read more... )

So I'm really happy. And I don't just mean in the sense that "Oh yes, I'm so happy right now" its more of a general happiness, a feeling of well being. My world has some flaws, yes, but I'm singing again, that means so much. I'm laughing, g-d I missed the laughter! And the smiles. And writing this I realize I might sound superficial, but that is ( Read more... )

Why does it seem like everything always comes in pairs. Yin and yang. Why does the storm have to come just when you're starting to enjoy the calm. I realize that things could be way worse in my life, and that by many standards I'm rather lucky. Yet, at the same time it seems like every time I think I'm catching a break something else goes wrong. ( Read more... )

So in several hours, about 8, I'm going to be another year older. When I was younger I had all these landmark birthdays that I wanted to get to, the big 13 so I could be considered a "teenager", 15 so I could get my drivers permit, 16 so I could drive on my own and have my own car, 17 so I could see rated R movies, 18 so I could be an "adult" and ( Read more... )

I cant take all the animosity! It's driving me nuts, and making me depressed. Why do you have to be such a dick. Why aren't people inherently good? Why do people have to talk to me? Tell me all their secrets? Do I look like I care about all your problems? I'm at my breaking point. I do really well on my own and in drama free zones because people ( Read more... )

I am in a rather happy mood at the moment. I'll start with the lesser happy things and work up to the one that is making me grin like an idiot ( Read more... )

i miss it all

Sometimes I wish I didn't feel the way I felt. I know that what I'm feeling is totally and completely irrational, but yet I still want to cry, I feel upset, and not being able to control that pisses me off. There is no reason that I should be upset. There is no reason I should want to cry. There is no reason I should cry when people come into the ( Read more... )

I hate this feeling, ugh my parents! It's amazing how nine years later they still find different ways to start arguments through me. The feeling that I felt all day long, just an ounce of what I used to feel on a daily basis, but it makes me remember how I felt and makes me sick! I hate that they do this. I hate that they can't just pick up the ( Read more... )

So I was taking a nap and woke up after my alarm was supposed to go off. Wondering why it didn't go off I opened my phone to discover that I had no network. Now being completely sensible and right of mind I did the only sane thing; I freaked out. I just totally lost my shit because I didn't have access to my phone. I was turning it on and off like ( Read more... )