I prefer bars with a mirror as a backdrop behind the alcohol so I can look at myself and feel at ease, or happy. The best was Southwark, its mirrored wall bare, open, in direct line of sight through which I batted my eyelashes, reveling in my image, eyeliner and mascara for the first time in weeks and it felt like looking at someone else, someone ( Read more... )

on a sad vacation, posing as someone else ( Read more... )

michael takes me home "after hours." there's something to being driven, getting in the front seat, how he opens the door for me. he puts on lovage. i keep discovering things about him, like how he went to china in 2006 (not sure why) and how his mother refused to give his father her phone number on the dance floor of a club on 52nd street, one that ( Read more... )

99. I dreamt I missed ( Read more... )

"I’m a burr in the throat of a beautiful bird ( Read more... )

how do you atone for your bike sins? you know, the times when you make mistakes, too eager, too careless, too selfish. i switched lanes hastily, as i made my way into center city, didn't signal -- they honked and i hunched down lower. i missed the turn down 23rd to the south street bridge, my mind elsewhere when i realized and stopped short in the ( Read more... )

79. I dreamt you were a mess ( Read more... )

from the fall, here is what we would remember ( Read more... )

well, i also wanted to be in love. deep romantic stupid bullshit love where i mailed vaguely illicit photos of myself to my lover, in black and white, printed from my best friend's deskside photo printer, a photo he took one morning as i read a long story on my ipad about a new york city hustler, a woman who had and lost it all, in hopes of finding ( Read more... )

the night the forty-something irish chef (who cooks sicilian food) asked me if i believed in god, because we met that night. he's catholic. me, too, but all it ever gave me was guilt. he took me out back to have a cigarette (parliaments) with him, asked to read my notebook, and later followed me over to his restaurant and co-opted my whole dinner ( Read more... )