Ok , I get it.

I know Im too far gone, too ugly , and too obscene to be of any value.

I get it , ok? there's no need to rub my face in it anymore.

I fucking get it. Ok?

I understand,

-- me

Dear ____,

For the record, when I receive an e-mail that begins "For the record..." I invariably delete it, unread.

Dear Family,

Cowards. All of you. Get your asses over here and comfort your mother. Stop hiding and leaving it to me. Yes, I love her. I'm her favorite grandchild, or so she has told me ( Read more... )

Dear world ( Read more... )

A few reminders , because it appears that you need them ( Read more... )

Dear irate shopper,

I apologize for not being as engaged or sympathetic as I could be at your understandable indignation about the price of... whatever it was you were complaining about... these days.

Yes, the dollar increase (since the price last November) you'd noticed in whatever item you had is obviously a hardship ( Read more... )

You are a shitty well vodka. Please stop advertising as " James Bond's vodka ".

Mass media has corrupted and marginalized just about everything I hold dear to me. Leave James Bond alone.

No love,
-- me

dear you,
you invited me to go to the hookah bar with you when i got back into town. i like hookah, don't get me wrong, but i refuse to go with because you use your camera with the GODDAMN FLASH ON and i can't handle being that person.
only sorta sorry but needing to get this off my chest,
-me.

Despite what you might think, it is not standard operating procedure for an airport security officer to invite customers into the street for a fight ( Read more... )

You were everything I could have ever hoped for in a partner. You just didn't love me back enough. Perhaps I didn't have that sense of self that I had years before I met you. Didn't allow breathing time between my previous relationships to get back to that awesome person I used to be long before I met you. Maybe things would have been different ( Read more... )