How the fuck does he do this?

[oriann]

Uwe Boll, widely regarded as the worst director ever spawned, is making another video game-to-movie translation, this time based on the game, Dungeon Siege. This is all fine and dandy, it'll suck, right

Comments

[pagoda_]

I'm not sure about God but I'm fairly certain there is a devil down there somewhere for the simple fact that there must be someone that Uwe Boll has sold his soul to.
I can't even imagine what the story is going to be like. Oh wait just like the game... a long boring hack and slash where nothing meaningful happens and consists of nothing but repetitive fighting that makes your eyes bleed.
Goddamn how do these movies make any money?

[blargum]

They dont. Or else lots of money, due to the loads of gamers and geeks alike who flock to the latest game movie to see hot chicks wearing tight clothing, with massive mamorries and who can kick mjor ass with guns strapped to their booty-shorted thighs.

[seupsut]

There's gonna be hot chicks?! I'M THERE!

[blargum]

Yes. And to prove Tys point about the hatred funneled towards Uwe Boll....look at this.
http://www.uweboll.com/

[microscopic_cog]

I have not actually seen any of his movies, which I guess I am thankful for now.

"Cold blooded killer goes even MORE crazy" Description of Sancitmony. Holy shit, more crazy! And I can barely handle plain old crazy..
On the topic of bad directors/bad movies: Boxing Helena. Don't ask, I didn't rent it. But it was, in fact, the worst movie ever made. EVER. Bad like, rather shoot myself in the foot and sleep with my brother then watch again bad.
I know, so vulgar...

[valderan]

Wait, shoot yourself in the foot and then sleep with your brother? That's not too hard core as one would imagine that the pain would take away all sensations and thus would rob you of the truer depravity of the situation. No, no, you must sleep with your brother, then shoot your foot off. At that point you may perhaps desire to eat the shattered remains of your foot after sauteeing it in a garlic and shallot mixture with a reduced red wine. Possibly a merlot, its overtones will mix well with the harsher red meat, shattered bone and tang of the gun powder. A side dish of chive, sour cream laden baked potato is an option but it would be crude to add bacon bits... unless they are made from the brother in question... Hot damn, I'm going to make a sandwich, I'm way hungrier than I thought.

[microscopic_cog]

I have to say that that foot is sounding a little to tasty.
How about your legs are torn off by a pack of leopards that have tigers tied onto their backs. Then they leave you off in a forest of a land where there is no medical coverage, and some civilians put leeches all over your face to get the 'tiger poison' out. Then they leave you to die with only a cell phone, sitting just out of your reach, with the most excruciating and nauseating ring tone possible. Then have every single one of your family members call fifty times looking for you.
Is that better? Wait wait, THEN you have to eat your own foot to survive, which has been ripped off by the leopard/tigers and is sitting beside you. Without even a cheap merlot...

[valderan]

No, no, you've gone too far now. Cannabalism, molestation and general torture practices are okay by me. Hell, I may even find them arousing in the right combination but a cell phone with such a ring. It takes a truly sick mind to come up with that. Then again I think that it took a truly sick mind to come up with the snooze button so that people can torture themselves each morning with no outside assistance. Ugh... you've outdone me. I must go weep now.

[charenton_]

This movie is being filmed just north of Victoria. Let's firebomb the set.